Also in Florida, This Lady Has Her Eyes on the Prize

A Florida woman was arrested after she called 911 to complain that the officer who had been at her home earlier denied her advances and refused to have sex with her. According to police, an officer originally came to Maria Montenez-Colon's home in Punta Gorda last Friday night after she called saying she wanted her Corvette back, a car she had signed over to her step son after her husband died. The officer tried to explain Maria, who was drunk, should call the non-emergency line in the future but she was more interested in trying to touch the officer's chest and arms, telling him she hasn't had sex in years and "I am so horny." He denied her advances and left, only to return an hour later with another officer after Maria called 911 again to complain that the officer wouldn't have sex with her. She said calling 911 the second time was the only way she would be able to get the officer to have sex with her. She now faces a misuse of 911 charge. This is Florida. Where this is not unusual behavior.



source: WBBH

Hello, 911? Come Quick! A Restaurant Served Me Raw Waffles

We wish someone would re-enact this, because it's hilarious. On the morning of Jan 30., a woman, who may or may not be drunk, went to the Village Inn in Tampa, Florida for some waffles, but things got real when the waffles arrived undercooked. The unidentified woman refused to pay for the waffles, but the server told her no, she she did the most logical thing -- call 911.

Here's a transcript of the call:

Dispatcher: Tampa Police 911, what is the location of your emergency?

Caller: Yes ma'am, I'm at the Village Inn.

Dispatcher: The Village Inn where?

Caller: It's located off of 30th.

Dispatcher: The one near Fowler?

Caller: Yes ma'am.

Dispatcher: Okay. What's going on there?

Caller: I guess he work here or whatever, they gave me some raw waffles, and I told him I don't want the waffles, could he take it off my bill, he's all, 'oh I can't take nothing off your bill, ma'am', but you sold me something that was uncooked, I'm already paying for the whole waffle that was uncooked, you want me to pay for the half a waffle too that was uncooked? No, he's all 'well I'll call the police, you been drinking alcohol', well come on bring me a breathalyzer and everything, I am ready.

Dispatcher: Okay...

Caller: I told him I would call the police for him. Come on! (bleep) come eat (bleep) come on, man!

Dispatcher: All right, I'll go ahead and uh, send an officer to help you all sort this out, okay, but just so you know, it's gonna be a civil matter between you and the business, but we can definitely come out there to, to (inaudible) the dispute.

Caller (speaking to someone else): She say it's a civil matter between you and the business, but they can do that there. (to dispatcher) Yes ma'am, thank you.

Dispatcher: All right, we'll get someone out there.


source: WFLA

Man Suffers Burns After Sex With Domino's Pizza, Demands Refund

This guy is obviously looking for attention, but we couldn't resist the buffoonery. The British idiot, known only as LAD_VIGO, claims to have had suffered severe burns to his penis after having sex with a pepperoni pizza from Domino's. So, in his search for attention, he took to Twitter to demand a refund from the popular pizza chain.

.@Dominos_UK HELLO I'VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

.@Dominos_UK DISGUSTING FOB OFF,YOUR STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA. WHY IS THIS NOT IN PLACE?
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

.@Dominos_UK I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED.
— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

Obviously in on the buffoonery, Domino's offered this reply.

@ITK_AGENT_VIGO Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

Meanwhile, on the Local News

Yesterday, as snow fell on NYC for the umpteenth time this winter, WABC reporter Kristin Thorne was out on Long Island to report on the storm's clean up when she almost became the news.

Councilwoman Has Breakdown on Radio Show, Claims Her Husband is Trying to Kill Her

A Memphis City Councilwoman, who also hosts a radio show, told listeners her husband is trying to kill her. In what some is calling a breakdown, Janice Fullilove said: "Everybody wants to know, 'Well, why do you drink? Why do you do this?' You know, I can't say it's because of him, but it's because of him I have done these things....I'm going to protect my life. I don't care this man here threatened to kill me, and I want the police director and everybody in the city to know....I can't let him kill me and he's threatened to kill me. He says he hates me." After making the announcement, she left the building. Did anyone check on her today? Is she all right?



source: WMC

Preacher Sues Ebony Magazine For Something or Another

Leon Isaac Kennedy, who starred in a few movies and TV series in the '70s and '80s before he became he apparently became a preacher, has slapped Ebony magazine (Johnson Publishing Co.) for calling him a "perv" and claimed he leaked a sex tape of his first wife during their 1981 divorce. He wants $1 million.

Kennedy, of California, is the founder of Kennedy Healing Love Ministries, and evangelizes at churches around the world, he says in the complaint. Before becoming an evangelist, he married and divorced Jayne Kennedy Overton, an actress, model and television host, who is not a party to the complaint. The two starred together in the movie "Body and Soul," which Kennedy also wrote, according to the complaint. Kennedy says their marriage dissolved amicably in 1981, and the couple granted John Johnson, founder of Ebony and Jet magazines, exclusive access to report on their divorce. "As a consequence of John Johnson's personal relationship with Kennedy, Johnson's reporters were granted virtually unrestricted access to the Kennedy's regarding the dissolution of their marriage, including in-person interviews at the Kennedy home and follow-up telephone interviews," the complaint states. Johnson claims Ebony revisited the Kennedys' divorce in its March 2013 issue - with an ugly spin. "In February, 2013, Johnson, historically a well-regarded publisher of information and articles concerning African-American culture, political issues, news and public figures, undertook a campaign to publish highly inflammatory, negative stories about certain well-known African American celebrities and public figures which, on information and belief, was motivated by a desire to boost revenues by publicizing false and sensational stories of claimed celebrity scandal," according to the 19-page lawsuit. "In furtherance of its calculated decision to sell copies by promoting scandalous stories about well known African-American public figures, in February 2013, Johnson published its March 2013 'Real-Life Scandal' issue through Ebony Magazine. On the cover of the issue, Johnson stated that the issue was reporting on 'Court Cases, Secret Affairs, Shocking Divorces, Drug Addictions ...'. [...] In that issue, Ebony claimed that Jayne Kennedy's first husband - not named in the article - "viciously leaked" a sex tape during their divorce, copies of which "passed from perv to perv," according to the complaint. Kennedy denies it: "Kennedy did not leak a sex tape at all, much less leak a sex tape 'viciously' during the Kennedy divorce. Rather, a tape was stolen by a third party approximately a decade after the Kennedy 1981 divorce and was subsequently distributed in the 1990s with no knowledge, consent or participation by Kennedy. "Kennedy did not act viciously toward Jayne Kennedy during their divorce proceedings or act in a way to intentionally harm Jayne Kennedy Overton, or her career, in the course of their divorce or at any other time. To the contrary, the divorce was amicable as truthfully reported by Johnson in 1981 and 1982, and Kennedy and Jayne Kennedy Overton have remained friends over the years. For example, Kennedy has been present for the birth of Ms. Kennedy Overton's children and at important Kennedy Overton family events, including school graduations," according to the complaint. Citing Ebony's investigative articles on the Kennedys at the time of their divorce, Kennedy accuses defendants of "knowingly publish[ing] a sensationalized lie for the purpose of selling copies notwithstanding their actual knowledge that the article was false and defamatory." Kennedy seeks more than $1 million in punitive damages for defamation and false light. He claims he has lost at least $35,000 in canceled ministry dates, and suffered a 40 percent decrease in invitations to minister at churches and conferences.

source: CN

Bwahahahahaha!