Blake Fielder-Civil, the soon-to-bed-ex-husband of singer Amy Winehouse, is taking the first steps to coming cleans - he tells a British newspaper that he was the one who put Amy on to drugs and they will be separating.
“I introduced her to heroin, crack cocaine and self-harming. I feel more than guilty.”
Blake claims Amy asked: "him to let her try crack cocaine as she watched him taking it, cut her arms after she saw him self harm, collapsed with a seizure after an all-day drug binge, and cheated on him with her manager’s assistant'
According to Blake, Amy hit rock bottom in the summer of 2007. That was when she suffered her first seizure as a result of abusing drugs. “We had been taking drugs all day long — heroin and crack," Blake says.
“We started early and finished late. We didn’t really think to stop. We both pushed things too much. I wanted to just disappear on drugs and not remember a thing. And while I was getting out of my head, I wasn’t thinking that I was taking somebody with me.
“Then my wife, who I love with all my heart and soul, just started shaking violently in front of me.
“I started crying and I lay her down in the recovery position.
“I cleared her airways to make sure she wasn’t choking.
“But her jaw was closed tight.
“I tried to stop her from biting her tongue when she was on the floor.
"It was heartbreaking, seeing someone you love more than yourself, someone you would die for, someone you would kill for on the floor shaking.”
When Amy came round she “went hysterical and mad” not even recognizing her husband.
Blake grimaced: “I will go to my grave with that picture of Amy asking me, ‘Who are you? Who are you?’
“She didn’t know who I was. I told Amy, ‘I’m your husband’.
“I knew f***ing then that I had ruined something beautiful. It was all my fault. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life.”
As for the cutting. Blake claims that Amy was just following his lead after he began to butcher his arms.
“Amy got really upset about seeing me bleeding. And because she’s loyal and f****d up over our love — like Romeo and Juliet — she cut her arms too. I had to get her stitched up.”
So, the two will be getting a divorce.
“Now the most dignified thing I can ever do in my life is to release somebody I love from my f***ing grasp, from my clutches. When I see pictures of Amy and the state she’s in it tears my heart out. I just want to pick her up and help her. But I can’t — because I’m the man who caused it all. It scares me to death that I can’t fix Amy. But for her recovery I have to leave her alone.”
“I will never stop wanting Amy and loving her and craving her. More than anything I am addicted to Amy. I will do anything for her — and that includes walking away. If something bad happened to Amy now I would KILL myself without a question.”
He ain't said nothing but a word.