Man Bites Off - Then Swallows - Friend's Penis
A Polish man was rushed to hospital after telling doctors how his best friend bit his penis off - then swallowed it - in after an argument involving a trailer.
(This is a serious news story and we will not make any trailer park jokes, but feel free to make your own.)
Marian Milczarek, 53, says: "He began hitting me with a chain and then pulled down my trousers and started biting. It was agony." he said.
Police and medics could find no trace of Marian's missing genitalia, and believe his attacker Wojciech Sowinski - now facing 10 years in jail - may have eaten it!
"If we'd had the other bit of his penis we could have sewn it back on," said the doctor who performed Marian's surgery.
And you thought a little teeth during foreplay was bad. That's a rough way to get head, don't you think.
While the original report didn't mention the men's sexual preference, we wonder how Wojciech got downinto Marian 's pants if they weren't already naked.