Monday, April 26, 2010

How The Hell Did Richard Pryor's Penis Cause a Buildup of Cocaine Inside of Pam Grier's Vagina?

Actress Pam Grier's memoir, Foxy: My Life in Three Acts, will be available this week and you need to cop a copy, if only to find how this trip to a doctor ended.
He said, "Pam, I want to tell you about an epidemic that's prevalent in Beverly Hills right now. It's a buildup of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vagina. You have it. Are you doing drugs?"
"No," I said, astonished.
"Well, it's really dangerous," he went on. "Is your partner putting cocaine on his penis to sustain his erection?"
"No," I said, "not that I know of. It's not like he has a pile of cocaine next to the bed and he dips his penis in it before we have sex." I had a nauseating flash of one of Richard's famous lines: Even my dick has a cocaine jones.
"Are you sure he isn't doing it in the bathroom before he comes to bed?" the doctor asked.
"That's a possibility," I said. "You know, I am dating Richard Pryor."
"Oh, my God," he said. "We have a serious problem here. If he's not putting it on his skin directly, then it's worse because the coke is in his seminal fluid."
Pam also confessed that her mouth went numb after giving Richard, whom she dated for about six months in the late '70s, professionals. So, the folks over at Jezebel, who published this excerpt, took this strange scenario to an actual doctor, who has never heard of cocaine passing from one's semen into a woman's vagina. The doctor concluded by saying, "All in all, having any doctor tell any patient something like that smacks of either misremembered recall on the patient's part, or, possibly more likely, a sleazy attempt by a vaguely irresponsible doc to scare someone into making a major life change....This whole topic is yet another morality tale showing yet another reason why it's so important to insist on a condom."

Hear, hear!

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