Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Jesse James' Jumpoff: The Sex Was So Good, We Thought About Killing Each Other


A stripper who goes by the name "Carly" and is believed to be Jesse James' fifth jumpoff spoke exclusively to Ian Halperin about her 11-month affair with the Nazi-loving soon-to-be-ex husband of Sandra Bullock.

Carly wasn't shy. In fact, she revealed some intimate details of her affair with Jesse that would make Tiger Woods' skettels feel under-appreciated.

She told Ian she and her girl friends would creep on over to Jesse's home late at night to engage in group sex. During sex, she says, Jesse wore Nazi regalia because it was turn on and oh, he has "closets full of [Nazi paraphernalia]."

But that wasn't it. Carly, spoke at length about her dangerous love with Jesse. She says: "We did everything but shoot each other, and at one point we even contemplated blowing each others brains out with shotguns. Jesse pleased me like nobody’s business. We had sex everywhere – in his car, on his bike and in the home he shared with his wife. It turned me on. I expect him to show up at my door any moment and I won’t turn him away. I can’t wait to fuck his brains out again.”

What?!?

Carly claims Sandra will go back to Jesse back, too, because "nobody knows how to please a girl better than Jesse." (She also says Sandra was well aware of Jesse's philandering.)

If you thought that news was juicy, get a load of what nasty ish Sandra is allegedly doing in her sex tape with Jesse, which he plans to use as leverage in their divorce, should it go so far.

On the tape, "James [is seen] smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler moustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s asshole with a shotgun in his left hand."

We. Can't. Take. It!

RadarOnline also reported that there are up to 12 different sex tapes featuring Jesse and his skanks, slags and skettels and in all of them he's wearing a Nazi getup.

BTW: Sandra, in her first public statement since the news of the affairs broke, told People magazine no sex tape exists.

Update: Jesse's people also say there are no sex tapes.


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