This Man is Wired for Pleasure
It was 4:30am on April 7 and 60-year-old Steven Ferrini was minding his own business -- and taking care of business -- when cops swooped down and told him he was in a no parking zone. Somehow he was found to be in possession of drugs... but that's not all the officer's found. While patting old man Steven down, they found -- and we quote -- "a suspicious wire with an on/off switch located in the subject's left front pant pocket. The wire was found to extend from the subject's pant pocket to his anal cavity." He admitted that the "device" was an anal vibrator.
But. That wasn't it. While being questioned back at the police station, Steven began talking crazy about bombs and how he knows how to make them. The entire building was evacuated while the bomb squad examined the vibrator, which was still in his anal cavity! Three hours later, at about 9am, the team rendered the device safe and was not an explosive. The vibrator was "sequently removed and placed into property."
How You Doin, Steven. Ehaow!