Monday, September 27, 2010

Apparently, Whenever NFLer Shaun Smith Sees Another Man's Penis, He's Gotta Grab It

Kansas City Chiefs defensive end Shaun Smith is building quite a reputation around the NFL; He's been branded a serial package-grabber.
For the second week in a row, Smith was accused of nethers-seizing, this time by San Francisco 49ers rookie tackle Anthony Davis, who was caught retaliating. The week before, Cleveland center Alex Mack nearly chased him around the field before being convinced to leave the field for the Browns' punt team. So far Smith has not responded to the charge that he grabs for other players' sensitives, though we should expect him to hold up a freshly sanitized hand and swear that he has never ever ever put his hand where competitors' hands weren't designed to go. Still, to be accused of it twice in two weeks by two men who, as near as we can tell, have never met each other and therefore have not had time to compare notes, leads a reasonable person to conclude that where there is smoke, there are palm prints. Now Conrad Dobler, largely considered the most creatively dirty player in National Football League history, was accused of working the joy divisions of other players when the opportunity presented itself. But it was part of a wider repertoire, with biting, gouging, kneeing, kicking and other more acceptable forms of social intercourse. There is no anecdotal evidence that Smith has such a well-developed game, cheating-wise. He is known, as of now, for just the one thing, and that's a hell of a rep to live down, let alone to keep up. Put another way, to quote Davis, "He tried to feel me. That's weird, right?"
Weird, indeed. Ehaow!

Update, Oct 1: Shaun has been fined $10,000 for grabbing Anthony's, ahem, johnson.

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