Last night, Timothy Chapek, 24, broke into a home in Portland, Ore. When the homeowner (Hilary Mackenzie) returned, Timothy was taking a shower. When she confronted him, he barricaded himself in the bathroom and called 911 saying he was kidnapped. Although he sounds very polite, he was arrested and charged with first-degree criminal trespass. Both Timothy and Hilary's 911 calls are above. (Sidebar: We expect to see Hilary all over the TV in the coming days!)
As for Timothy, what a donkey! Hee-haw!
Update: Within hours of his release from jail, Timothy was re-arrested after he stole a car from a BMW dealership and stole a cart-load of items from a Walmart.