Wednesday, April 27, 2011

President Obama Releases Birth Certificate

Responding to critics' relentless claims, President Barack Obama on Wednesday produced a detailed Hawaii birth certificate in an extraordinary attempt to bury the issue of where he was born and confirm his legitimacy to hold office. He declared, "We do not have time for this kind of silliness....We're not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers." Was that grease directed at fake presidential candidate and birther Donald Trump? You betcha!

Update #1: Bwahahaha! Cher went in on fake presidential candidate Donald Trump, who took credit for the president releasing his birth certificate.

Update #2: President Obama and first lady Michelle were in Chicago to tape an episode of Oprah (the show airs May 2). Oprah asked why him why he took so long to release the long-form birth certificate. To which the president said: "Two weeks ago a huge debate was initated about where our budget needs to go. During the course of this major debate where I gave a big speech and the Republicans voted on their proposal, the biggest news was this birth certificate thing. I said to my team, look, even though this is not usually what the state of Hawaii does...Even though the Republican governor of Hawaii, the Democratic governors of Hawaii, all the various officials had confirmed that I was born here, let's ask them for a special dispensation where they will go ahead and provide us with the original to see if we can put this to rest. We are living in a very serious time. And America has huge potential and opportunity to seize the 21st century. We're only gonna get there, though, if we have a serious conversation about the things that matter to people. We can't be distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers going around, trying to get attention."

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