Friday, May 6, 2011

This Man Wants a New Penis

Nothing good happens when you're drunk and wielding samurai swords around. Just ask Zaprian Lozanov. The 61-year-old man from Plovdiv, Bulgaria was throwing a few back with his best friend Lyubomir Todorov, when he grabbed a sword to show off his martial arts skills while intoxicated. That sounds like a very bad idea. In the process, Lyubomir chopped off Zaprian's (pictured) penis.
The result was pretty much inevitable, as Mr Todorov began swiping wildly with the sword. Our unfortunate victim picks up the story: "He told me he was a martial arts expert - he was whizzing it around his head. I went to try and take it off him before he caused an accident - and then he slashed it in front of me. I thought he'd missed but then I felt a burning pain and collapsed. He'd sliced the sword through my trousers and lopped off my penis." Although clearly sad and very unfortunate, the story is also somewhat heartening - because Mr Lozanov campaigned for his pal's release from prison, after he was given a six-year sentence over the incident. He did have something of an ulterior motive, though - to get Mr Todorov back into employment in order to raise the cash to pay for a brand, spanking new chopper. "People tell me I was noble to get him released but I want him to get a job so he can pay the compensation I am due," Mr Lozanov continued. "There is nothing I can do to change what has happened - it's in the past. I just hope now that, by helping him, it will help me."
Does anyone know how much a new, unused penis sell for?
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