Friday, January 20, 2012

WATCH: Man Calls Police on Cheating Wife, Teabagger Nabbed

Dave Banks is a donkey who refuses to live in reality. The Glendale, Arizona man filed a police report recently because his wife, Traci, is cheating on him. But, wait, it gets better! Dave and Traci have been separated and living apart for awhile now.

Nicholas and Andrea Murrey (both 29) of Pasadena, Texas have been charged with injury to a child by omission after their 2-month-old baby boy was found to be severely malnourished. The boy -- who had never seen a pediatrician since he was born -- weighed a mere 7 pounds -- the same as his weight at birth. The couple's other three kids were also malnourished and taken away. These people shouldn't be allowed to have kids. We've said it so many times: having babies shouldn't be so damn easy. Especially for people who can't afford to take care of them. But get this, Andrea told investigators she was unable to take the baby to a doctor because their roommate wouldn't let her use the car. And Nicholas' excuse? He works nights cares for his kids during the day. Idiot.

Aaron Tate and Curtis Keller -- who were both convicted last year of beating the owner with a gun and held his wife and kids hostage at gun point, demanding money -- faced the music yesterday in a Memphis courtroom and they were not happy. Aaron was sentenced to 138 years in prison and that pronouncement SET. HIM. AUF! Curtis will likely be sentenced to 240 years in prison.

Ginger Strivelli is planning to sue her local school district for discrimination because it's pro-Christian. Ginger, who practices Witchcraft, became upset when her 12-year-old son came home from school with a Bible. The school received the Bibles as a donation and allowed interested students to stop by and pick them up. Ginger's son picked up and took it home for some intimate time with Jesus. Ginger blew a asked and when she showed up at the school to "donate" 70 spell books, they told her to put that where? Waaaaaaaay back there.

Students from Alabama University are captured on video taunting and teabagging [around the 3:26 mark] a drunk LSU fan after a BCS Championship game in New Orleans. They're parents must be so proud. (Sidebar: 32-year-old Brian Downing surrendered to police last night. He was booked and charged with sexual battery and obscenity. The 18-year-old victim has yet to come forward.)

Tax season is upon us. But, before you map sure your cash preparer isn't a scam artist like Lynn Berry.

"I brought you into this world and I'll take you out." We're quite sure those words were uttered this evening in a Detroit home before a 72-year-old man, fed up with his 16-year-old son's sh*t, shot his ass.

Quattarra Gardner, who has been a police officer since July 2003, was arrested Thursday for stealing $700 worth of merchandise from a Macy's. She's the third officer to be arrested this month. Where could this possibly be going down? Memphis! Duh!

Meanwhile, in Atlanta, police officer Bernett Collins is being framed for molesting a 14-year-old girl, but the officers who are setting him up are really sloppy.

For the second time in six months, a car crashed into an elderly Houston couple's home. After each incident, the driver fled the scene . It might be time to move.

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