Meanwhile, in Florida

Desmond Brownlee, 45, of Volusia County, Florida, has been charged with felony battery by strangulation and tampering with a witness after he attacked his wife over fried chicken. According to police, Desmond was upset because his wife had eaten leftover fried chicken from dinner and was attempting to cook more fried chicken when he became agitated after she began critiquing his cooking efforts. He lost a gasket and pushed his wife onto the bed, striking her multiple times in the face and choking her. When the woman called 911 Desmond took the phone away from her. When cops arrived he told them his hit him first, but cops arrested him because they deemed he was the primary aggressor. Also, they both were drunk after drinking all day.

source: WKMG

The One About the Lady Who's Accused of Biting Garbagemen

We have no idea what this story is about -- something about garbage bin removal and horseshoes or something -- but Shirley George of Sacramento sure is feisty. "Your garbage mens is too filthy to try to bite." DEAD.

source: KVOR

Meanwhile, in Florida

Monique Dent, 35, of South Daytona, Florida, was arrested and charged with child abuse without great harm last weekend after she repeatedly body-bumped her 17-year-old daughter because the teenager refused to give her younger brother a piece of chicken.

Dent’s daughter came home just before 1:30 p.m. with a bag of chicken and passed out a piece to everyone in the house. The teen however, did not give a piece of chicken to her 7-year-old brother, the report states. Angered, Dent approached her daughter and began bumping her with her body, the report states. The girl locked herself in her bedroom but Dent managed to open the door and put her body up against the teenager again, the report states. The teen pushed her mother away and went into the living room, grabbing a cross, the report shows. Dent then began bumping up against her daughter again, until both mother and daughter fell to the floor and began wrestling, police said. The teenager bit Dent’s hand when Dent covered the girl’s mouth, the report states. There were two other children — two girls ages 10 and 16 — in the house, as well, police said.

source: News-Journal

Apollo Nida Fails to Report to Prison, Chooses to Film Scene For Reality Show Instead

Stunt queen Apollo Nida, who was convicted of fraud this summer, failed to turn himself in to a minimum-security federal prison in Lexington, Kentucky to start an eight-year sentence. Instead, he decided to go pay his wife, Phaedra Parks, a visit and give her a piece of his mind because she would not deposit money into his prison account. And -- and you sitting down? -- the cameras for their Bravo reality show were rolling. Shocking! We know!

Jail break! In a surprising twist, Real Housewives of Atlanta star Apollo Nida bailed on jail on Wednesday, Sept. 10. It was supposed to be the first day of his 8-year prison sentence, but Us Weekly has learned from Phaedra Parks' rep that her husband opted out, instead heading over to Parks’ house, where he went off on the author and reality star. Nida, who was found guilty of bank fraud, showed up at the home with a friend while Bravo cameras were filming, and became enraged that his wife had changed the locks. A source tells Us Weekly, “It was the most bizarre thing. Everyone thought he was already at jail this morning. He drove himself to jail and was supposed to be there by noon. So Bravo came over to her house to start filming her coming home and all that stuff. The whole Bravo crew saw it – it’s all on tape. Everyone was shocked.” Parks' husband verbally attacked her from their driveway, shouting, "You didn't come to my hearing!" Nida — who previously served six years in prison for auto loan fraud — was “running around the house like a lunatic for about 20 minutes. He was psychotic, not even making sense.” Fortunately, the couple’s two young sons, Ayden and Dylan, were down the street at a neighbor’s house during the outburst. The police were called, but didn’t arrive until after Nida and his friend had left. He was due to report to the authorities by noon, but clearly missed his deadline. No word yet on the penalties he will face for missing his deadline.

source: Us Weekly

We won't be surprised if all of this was orchestrated by RHoA producers because everybody knows that show is scripted and needs to manufacture more drama every season to draw in the ratings. We're on to them, though. Anywho, was convicted because he Apollo created several fake collection companies so he could get access to the personal information and credit history databases operated by companies like Equifax and Lexis-Nexis. These scheme started in 2009. It ended when the Secret Service confronted Apollo and seized his laptop in 2013. (He previously served five years in a federal prison for auto title fraud before marrying Phaedra in 2009.) In addition to this 8-year sentence, must pay up to $4.5 million in restitution. After his release from prison, he will he will serve five years of supervised release. As of this writing Wednesday night, the US Bureau of Prison's online inmate locator confirmed was not yet in custody. He was the prisoner number 65725-019. An arrest warrant has been issued. What are the chances there's a Bravo camera crew with him currently and will be there when he finally decides to turn himself in? We'll bet money on it.

Update, Sept 11: A prison spokesman confirmed to CNN Apollo is now in custody.

Unfashionable Crazy Person Offers to Pay Hat-Wearer $100 Per Hour to Shower Her with Compliments

A lady in Brooklyn, NY, who goes by the name Lauren, posted this ad to Craigslist looking for a "shopping partner." Sounds innocent enough, but the poster is kinda crazy. She's looking for someone to pretend to her best friend and shower her with compliments, no matter how hideous she looks. She's willing to dole out $100 per hour. In order to get the job, however, you must wear a hat because, to let her tell it, "people who wear hats tend to have superior style" and will make the shopping trip "more authentic to onlookers." Methinks her money will be best spent on a therapist, but she probably already has several. Here's the actual listing:

shopping partner (brooklyn)
compensation: $100 per hour
I have a very hard time shopping because i never like the way i look when i try on clothes. I'm looking for someone to go shopping with me to make it a more pleasant experience. you will need to sit outside of the fitting room and tell me how nice i look in each outfit regardless of how i actually look. enthusiasm is a plus and i ask that you applaud at least twice to draw the attention of other costumers. after i make my purchases its important that we leave the store arm and arm laughing loudly like we're close friends. I would also like you to wear an interesting hat being that people who wear hats tend to have superior style. this will make it more authentic to onlookers. i will compensate you $100 per hour. if your interested please email me a list of possible compliments you will say to me and a picture of your hat. If you don't have a hat, tell me about what kind of hat you would like to wear and i will buy it for you.

Lauren

source: Craigslist

This Lady Robbed 89-year-old Disabled Grandfather at Knifepoint, Hit Him With Tree Branch

Lateefah Williams is something else. The 37-year-old from Chicago's South side robbed her disabled grandfather, hitting him with a tree branch and putting a knife to his throat before stealing $150, his car keys and the deed to his house. According to police, Lateefah's 89-year-old grandfather recently suffered a stroke and has been staying in a rehabilitation facility. He was was dropped off at his house Friday to pick up clothes to take back to the facility, that's when Lateefah, who lived in the same building, pounced. Police say she snuck into his apartment with her boyfriend, hit her grandfather with a tree branch and demanded money. When he denied having money, she put a large pocket knife to his throat. Her grandfather then gave Lateefah the keys to a file cabinet, where she found $150, the deeds to his house and car, the keys to his car and his social security card, all of which she took. Lateefah and her boyfriend then left through the front door and drove away in her grandfather's car. When the victim's son arrived, he told his son what happened and police were called. Lateefah and her boyfriend were pulled over in her grandfather’s car and arrested a short time. The victim had an order of protection against his granddaughter. So did another family member. Lateefah was charged with armed robbery, aggravated battery, aggravated possession of a stolen motor vehicle, armed home invasion and violating an order of protection. Bail was denied.

source: Chicago Tribune

Mother Disciplines 14-year-old Daughter For Sexting No-Good Boyfriend, Girl Stabs Mom 12 Times

A 14-year-old girl from Warren, Michigan is being charged with attempted murder and, if convicted, could spend the rest of her life for stabbing her mother a dozen times last weekend. According to police, 32-year-old Victoria Finklea was disciplining her daughter for sending nude pictures to her boyfriend. (The boyfriend then posted the photos online.) The girl flew into a rage and stabbed her mother with a knife in the head, back, shoulders, arms and chest. Victoria fled and went to the home of a neighbor, who called police. She was taken to the hospital and is expected to survive. Speaking to the prosecutor from her hospital bed, she says her daughter is a “great kid” who has been an “A and B student” and “was looking forward” to starting school, but at her first court appearance this week, the girl showed no remorse.




source: WJBK

Joan Rivers is Dead

Sad news, Joan Rangers, the sheriff, commissioner and chief of the Fashion Police has died. She was 81. In statement, her only child Melissa Rivers said: "It is with great sadness that I announce the death of my mother, Joan Rivers. She passed peacefully at 1:17 p.m. surrounded by family and close friends. My son and I would like to thank the doctors, nurses, and staff of Mount Sinai Hospital for the amazing care they provided for my mother." Melissa added that she and her son, Cooper, who is Joan's grandson, "have found ourselves humbled by the outpouring of love, support and prayers we have received from around the world. They have been heard and appreciated. My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh. Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon." On Aug. 28, Joan suffered cardiac arrest and was placed on life support after undergoing routine throat surgery at a NYC surgical center. (Perhaps the arrest came about after she was administered propofol, the drug that killed Michael Jackson.) According to the NY Daily News, Melissa made the difficult decision to take her mother off life support. Joan, we will miss you. Funeral is expected to be Sunday at Temple Emanu-El in NYC. As for Fashion Police, E! should just cancel it because no one -- and we mean NO ONE!!! -- can fill's Joan's stilettos.

With all the plastic surgery I've had I'm worried that when I die, God won't recognize me!

— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) June 17, 2010

Here's one our favorite stand-up performances from Joan.




And let's not forget the time when she read a ho named Jessica Hahn for filth on her talk show in 1992.





Update, Sept 5: The family has announced Joan's funeral will be private. An autopsy has been completed, but more studies will be needed to determine the cause and manner of her death, New York City medical examiner’s office spokeswoman Julie Bolcer said.

Update, Sept 6: After a 20-minute service this morning inside the Frank E. Campbell funeral home, Joan's casket -- covered in white orchids. Melissa is seen fighting back tears and kissing her mother's casket before it was driven away to the Garden State Crematory in Union City, NJ. Her body will be cremated before the funeral tomorrow. Here's the video.

Thieves Break into Woman's Apartment, Steal Everything

It's been a while since we last heard from Andrea Isom -- Detroit's most melodramatic reporter -- so we're glad to see she hasn't taken her meds and is "on the edge" of this story. Charmisha Yancey, 27, says a burglar (or perhaps, a group) threw a chunk of asphalt through the window of her apartment in Inkster, Michigan (a suburb of Detroit) on Labor Day and stole everything. Everything! TVs? Gone. Clothing? Gone. Everything from the kitchen was gone. The thieves even stole Charmisha's shower curtain, toilet paper and tooth brushes.

source: WJBK

Man Stabs Roommate For Being Loud While Having Threesome

Antonio Flores, 42, of San Antonio, Texas, was arrested Tuesday on a charge of burglary with intent to commit felony force stemming for a May 8 incident where he stabbed his roommate (who was having sex with two women) with a kitchen knife for being too loud. According to police, Antonio kicked down the door to his 36-year-old roommate's bedroom and complained he was being too loud. Antonio grabbed a knife and stabbed his roommate several times in the head, back and arms. The victim was taken to a local hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Antonio was charged with burglary with intent to commit felony force. source: KENS