Friday, November 20, 2009

Rihanna 'Rated R' Review: Raunchy, Racy, Risqué

When Miss Fenty's album drops next week, its content will surprise most of you. Or maybe it won't. If you thought the good girl went bad on her last album, the girl on Rated R is mad as hell and she'll take off her "six-inch walkers" then stab you with them. Or she'll shoot your ass. Or, if you catch her on a really bad day, she'll stab you then shoot you.

The album's intro welcomes you to a mad house and warns "those of you who are easily frightened [to] turn away." Since we're never scared, we kept on listening.

Standout tracks include "Stupid In Love" which is a big ballad. It's about a girl who's in love with a boy, her friends are telling her to quit him, but she can't -- even though he's got "blood" on "his hands." But she eventually musters up the courage to leave. She belts out: "This is stupid / I'm not stupid / Don't talk to me, like I'm stupid / I still love you, but I just can't do this / I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid." It's one of those songs you will repeat over and over again and will hum it every where you go.

On "Rockstar 101", a mid-tempo song, she is cussing like a sailor and then utters this line: "Make sure you frisk me good, check my panties and my bra." We flatlined after that. Dead.

On "G4L", however, Miss Fenty takes the cussing to a whole 'nother level. We don't know what she's singing about, because we're still gagging from all the foul language. She throws around the N-word then throws in "motherfucker" this, "motherfucker" that, "bitch", "bitch" and guns, guns, guns. Wow! If you have young kids around, you may want to skip this one 'cause Miss Fenty's gangsta for life.

While it could be argued that the entire album has something to do with Chris Brown, "Cold Case Love" is the only song that actually draws specific references to a crime. In the six-plus minutes song -- the longest on the entire album -- she sings "what you did to me was a crime....and I let you reach me one more time, that's enough" and about "prints, pictures and white outlines" at the scene of the crime. She drops this line: "Your love was breaking the law, but I needed a witness." Boys and girls, we were all witnesses to that crime last February. She's said in recent interviews that this was the first song she recorded for Rated R and it shows, the song is raw and powerful.

The already released/leaked tracks "Hard", "Russian Roulette," Wait You Turn" and "Te Amo" are certifiable bangers, too.

Which now brings us to "Rude Boy." On this track, Miss Fenty sings about taking control in the bedroom and asks a boy if he can "get it up", if he's "big enough" and tells him how she's ride him hard, strong and all night long. What?!

We told ya. This is not the Rihanna you once knew and we like her. The album is worth getting and we give it a strong B+.

But it seems, kids, that that raunchy person on Rated R, is part of the real Miss Fenty.

She told German magazine Bravo she's not dating currently, but if a guy's hoping to impress her, he better be packing.

“He has to be good in bed and the size matters. You know what I mean? The inner beauty counts as well, but without a toy it doesn’t make it fun. Right now I don’t want to have a serious relationship, I want to have fun....I love flirting at the moment. I’m single and I’m enjoying my freedom. But I don´t give my phone number out that often. But if I’m dating, I check the boy from the top to the bottom.”

We hear that, girl.

BTW, we may know just the person for her. He's packing in the right areas.

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