Friday, December 4, 2009

Tiger's Jumpoff: We Used Drugs Before Sex


Since almost everything has been reported about Tiger Woods' cheatation and subsequent nightclubbing, the only think missing from this story was drugs.

And drugs we have.

According to the folks over at RadarOnline, Rachel Uchitel -- the woman who the National Enquirer trailed to Australia because she was having an affair with Tiger then later denied it but threatened yesterday to spill the T, then didn't after she allegedly got paid $1 million to shut her trap, not her cattrap -- told her friends she and Tiger used drugs before they had sex.

"Now we’ve learned that Uchitel told friends that she and Tiger liked to have sex while taking the drug Ambien," RadarOnline reports. "Uchitel told one pal, ‘You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex.’”

It gets better.

Us Weekly is reporting that Rachel forwarded e-mails Tiger allegedly sent her to all of her friends. In one those those sexy e-mails, Tiger wrote:

“I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament. I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f–ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that…Now I can’t get back to sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is awake. Need an Ambien.”

Craziness. If Nike, Gatorade and his other sponsors drop him, Sanofi-Aventis, the makers of Ambien, will make Tiger their spokesperson.

By the way, Jamie Grubbs, the jumpoff who leaked Tiger's now infamous voicemail and sexy text messages, used to work at a weed spot in California.

Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!


Oh, Tiger.



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