Friday, May 13, 2011

Osama bin Laden Was Obsessed With Whitney Houston, Wanted to Kill Bobby Brown: report

Osama bin Laden is dead. We can all relish in that fact. His ex-wives and mistresses are speaking out and they paint an unflattering picture of the terrorist leader. In a report in the National Enquirer, the wives and mistresses say Osama used to beat and raped them repeatedly and he was into sadomasochism. Kola Boof, who was Osama's jumpoff from 1996 to 1998, says the terrorist was a racist who hated blacks -- except the pretty ones like herself and singer Whitney Houston.
Incredibly, Kola told a close friend, the al-Qaida leader had an overwhelming obsession with Whitney Houston that he wanted to kill her husband Bobby Brown! He was willing to spend vast amounts of money to meet the singer he considered "the most beautiful woman in the world," Kola told the friend. Totally delusional, Osama talked about giving Whitney a mansion that he owned in Khartoum and making her one of his wives, according to Kola.

Source: National Enquirer, May 23, print edition
While we believe 99.9% of everything we read in the Enquirer and take a wait-and-see approach to the other 0.1%, this story about Osama wanting to wife Whitney is just batty! Actually, it's so ridiculous we literally laughed out loud while reading it. But we digress. Apparently, when Osama wasn't fawning over Whitney while watching The Bodyguard on his crappy TV in his dingy mansion, he was a paranoid mess. The wives say the terrorist leader didn't sleep much because he feared capture by the US government. (When he did get some shut eye, it was for no more than 3 hours.) He also ate very little because food made him sleepy and he needed to always remain alert. According to the report, Osama suffered from diabetes and smoked weed regularly. And, according to one of the wives, he instructed his eldest son, Abdallah, to shoot him in the head if he thought he was about to be captured by American soldiers. The shooting was to be filmed and later broadcast to his supporters. Luckily, they didn't get the chance.
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