A 63-year-old Glendale, Calif. man is in stable condition at a local hospital after he attempted surgery on himself with a six-inch butter knife -- yes, a butter knife! -- to remove a protruding hernia from his stomach. According to police, the wife of the the unnamed man called 911 last Sunday and told dispatchers, her husband "impaled himself with a knife." When officers arrived, they found the man naked on a patio lounge chair outside his apartment with the knife sticking out of his stomach. The man's wife told officers that her husband was tired of waiting for the surgery and decided to cut it out himself. While waiting for paramedics, the man pulled out the knife and stuffed a cigarette he was smoking into the bleeding, open wound. He was immediately arrested, placed on a psychiatric hold and taken to a hospital -- where he remains hospitalized.