And the donkey of the day is Mary Ellen Lisee. The 45-year-old crackhead from Fort Pierce, Florida woman was arrested Sunday on charges of disorderly conduct and misuse of 911 after she called because she ate too much food. Granted, she was also drunk. When cops arrived at the motel a hang-up call originated from, they say Mary jumping up and down and yelling in the room. She then told them there wasn't a reason for them to be there. Cops asked her what happened and they could help, and Mary started laughing, saying she called because she "ate too much." Then she started to yell at officers, telling them she had not consumed cocaine in more than a year. Officers asked her to write a statement and Mary wrote: "My name is Mary Ellen Lisee. I have beaten, I believe in God, and He forgives me. I may joke, but I do not do crack. I will not for as long as I live." She was then asked to sign the statement confirming it's a true statement, but she refused. Say no to drugs, kids.
Last Friday in Detroit, Ashley Safford says her baby daddy pulled a gun on her and threatened to kill her -- then he stabbed her in her back, piercing her lung. All of this happened in front of the couple's 18-month-old son. Almost a week later, Ashley's attacker has not be arrested even though cops know where to find him.
Alex Rodriguez from Utah threatened to kill police in a post on Facebook and is SHOCKED that cops showed up at his job and arrested him. Oh, he was also fired.
Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, a 15-year-old boy was arrested after he threatened on Facebook to blow up his Catholic high school.
Mother of the Year Tasha Haynes told police someone broke into her home in Louisville, Kentucky on Dec. 15 and stole two digital cameras, an XBOX-360 and a Nintendo game system -- which were her kids' Christmas presents. But, Tasha is a liar! She later confessed to returning the items to the store so she could buy herself, "cigarettes and other things."
Alert Santa! He lost one of his reindeer on a highway in Norton, Ohio.
KTLA meteorologist Henry DiCarlo spazzes out and queens out on live TV! (Then again, why do they need a weatherman in LA? Just sayin'.)
Kobe Bryant has been in the news a lot of late. First, the NBA baller's wife surprised everyone and filed for divorce because he allegedly cheated on her with 105 OTHER WOMEN! Now a lawsuit, filed by the now=deceased Bill Geeslin of Blytheville, Ark. -- who claimed forearmed him in the chest in 2005 -- has some movement. The 6th US Circuit Court of Appeals in Cincinnati ruled that a federal district court was right to dismiss the fan's claim of intentional infliction of emotional distress. But the lower court was told to take another look at the lawsuit's claim of assault and battery.
Chris Stuber, 48, was arrested in Memphis and charged with unlawfully inhaling nitrous oxide (laughing gas) after cops found him huffing the stuff while sitting in his parked car. A search of the vehicle found 1,000 small cartridges of the chemical compound. He told the local news affiliate he huffs laughing gas to to kill pain because prescription drugs are no longer effective.
Gwendolyn Johnson is what you call a selfless. She's living in a small hotel room since August and raising six children -- all of whom belong to her sisters and brothers who are either in jail or don't care. If she doesn't find a permanent soon, a judge is threatening to place the kids in foster care.
To the person who dropped off bags of food, toys, stuffed animals, clothes to Nicole Segal's home, she says thanks, but no thanks.
Oh, by the way! Your shoes are here! (PS: The FedEx package thrower is in here.)
And just for fun, here's an old video of a Fedex ground employee tossing boxes out of a truck.