Who saw this coming? Vanessa Byrant, the long-suffering wife of Los Angeles Lakers star and , Kobe Bryant, filed for divorce this afternoon. Sheesh, the divorce is darn near finalized! According to reports, Vanessa signed the papers on Dec. 1 and Kobe Bryant -- who was embroiled in an epic sexual assault case in 2003 (which resulted in him buying Vanessa "a house on a finger" as an apology) -- filed his response on Dec. 7. The couple's spokesperson said: "The Bryants have resolved all issues incident to their divorce privately with the assistance of counsel and a Judgment dissolving their marital status will be entered in 2012." In the filing, Vanessa Bryant asked for joint legal and physical custody of the couple's two daughters, Natalia, 8, and Gianna, 5. Kobe Bryant asked for the same in his response. And yes, she cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split from her husband of more than 10 years. Vanessa and Kobe "ask that in the interest of our young children and in light of the upcoming holiday season the public respect our privacy during this difficult time." Yeah, good luck with that. Since they didn't have a pre-nup and California is a "Community Property" state, expect Vanessa to walk away a really rich bitch. We wonder how many women will now come forward, a la Tiger Woods, claiming they slept with Kobe while he was married? We know rapper Trina already said admitted to it. Allegedly. Sidebar: What ever happened to the case brought by the couple's former maid, who claimed they harassed and humiliated then fired her? In other news: Kobe is allegedly threatening to leave the Lakers.
UPDATE: Jan. 20: As we suspected, the quickie divorce has been finalized. According to reports today, Vanessa will walk away with $75 million (yep, that's half of Kobe's assets). She was awarded all three of the family's mansions in the Newport Beach area. Vanessa already lives in one of the homes, her mother lives in another, and the third is a property that was recently completed after a two-year construction project.