Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Columbia University Professor Strips, Attacks Teddy Bears During Lecture

We swear the world is going mad. During a lecture on quantum mechanics recently, Columbia University physics professor Emlyn Hughes casually ate a banana as he stripped down to his underwear in front of a screen playing footage of the 9/11 attacks, Adolf Hitler, bombs, and Osama Bin Laden. We don't know what the hell is going on. Then assistants brought two stuffed animals onto the stage, blindfold them, then stabbed them with a sword. At the end of the madness, professor Hughes told the students: "In order to learn quantum mechanics you have to strip to your raw, erase all the garbage from your brain, and start over again. Nothing you have learned in your life up to now is in any way going to help prepare you for this, because everything you do in your everyday life is totally opposite to what you're going to learn in quantum mechanics. I've been tasked with the impossible challenge of having to teach you quantum mechanics in one hour - what basically the most brilliant minds, Einstein and so on, couldn't figure out working on it their whole life. So that's actually a bit of a big goal for today. Before leaving, he pointed out that all the students in attendance needed to pass quantum mechanics in order to gain their undergraduate degrees at Columbia. They might want to get their money back or get another professor. In regards to the professor's madness, Columbia said in a statement: "The freedoms traditionally accorded the faculty carry corresponding responsibilities. The appropriate academic administrators are currently reviewing the facts of this particular presentation."

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