Pistol-Packin' Granny, 92, Shoots at Man Who Refused to Kiss Her

Helen Staudinger, a 92-year-old Florida woman, is hot in the diapers. And, apparently, she has an itchy trigger finger, too. She was arrested yesterday after she fired several rounds from a .380 semi-automatic handgun into a man's (53-year-old Dwight Bettner) home because he refused to give her a kiss and asked her leave.

Before facing the judge during first appearance, a handcuffed Staudinger, dressed in a red and white jail outfit, told a Star-Banner reporter that Bettner is a smooth talker. She said she liked him and had told him many times about her fondness for him. Staudinger said she is a widow and that her husband died in 1982, and that is the year she moved to Fort McCoy. She said they had five children, four girls and a boy, and that she was a housewife but also once worked as a supervisor for a chain of cleaners. She said she used to cook for Bettner when he first moved into her Fort McCoy neighborhood. She said they used to go out and eat and sometimes he would would kiss her on the check and other times would give her a peck on the lips when she cooked for him. Staudinger said Bettner told lies and was not paying his way when they dined out. She also said he had a number of girlfriends coming and going from his residence. Bettner said he moved to the neighborhood about six months ago and that a couple of months after moving in, Staudinger needed a part for her stove so he drove her to Ocala to purchase the item. On their way back, he said, they stopped to grab a bite to eat and she offered to pay for the meal. He said that was the only time they ever went out to eat. He said Staudinger once cooked dinner or breakfast for him and he gave her a kiss on the cheek just “trying to be nice to her.” “I've got a girlfriend of my own,” said Bettner, adding that he has repeatedly ignored the woman's advances. When sheriff's deputies arrived shortly before 1 p.m. Monday, Bettner told them he had been hit by flying glass when his neighbor fired shots into his residence. “I was standing in the bedroom talking on the phone when one of the bullets came into the bedroom,” he said. “The other three bullets hit the side of the house.” Bettner said Staudinger has cursed at him and once attempted to strangle a woman she thought was having an affair with him. While standing in Staudinger's front yard, Deputy Kimberly Minton asked for the gun and Staudinger told her it was inside. The deputy found the .380 semi-automatic handgun on an end table in the living room. She emptied the weapon and noted a round was in the chamber. Staudinger told the deputy she had gone next door to talk with her friend, but he wanted her to leave. She said although Bettner had a girlfriend, she was not going to leave the house until he gave her a kiss. They argued, Staudinger said, and she left his home in anger, grabbed the gun and went back to the house and fired several shots. Staudinger told the Star-Banner reporter, however, that the reason she went to Bettner's home was because he owed her money from the times they went out to eat. “The more I thought about it, the madder I got,” she said. She denied asking for a kiss before leaving.
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Girl, he's just not that into you. Helen was charged with aggravated assault and shooting into an occupied dwelling. She's being held on $15,000 bail. If she is released, however, the judge ordered her to stay away from Dwight at least until her next court date, which is April 2.