Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Have You Ever Seen the Biggest Penis in the World?

That's it in the photo.

If you have the biggest penis in the world, wouldn't you want as people to see it? Well, unfortunately for 30-year-old Matthew Magnus (we swear, that's his real name), walking around showing your johnson to random people -- including children -- while you're high on cocaine is a felony. In fact, last Saturday, Matthew was wandering the streets of Hallandale Beach, Fla. asking strangers: "Have you ever seen the biggest penis in the world?" No one was amused.
According to a Hallandale Police arrest report, in the first incident, Magnus asked a group of kids the question before pulling his pants down. When the kids ran away, he found another group of kids and followed them, again asking the "biggest penis" question. The kids ran away before he could expose himself again. The children, all under 16, identified Magnus in a photo line-up, according to the report. When police went to arrest Magnus, they found him naked in his apartment. Police said the apartment was covered in dog feces, urine and trash, and when they did a search, they found white powder in baggies, which later tested positive for cocaine. He was charged with two counts of exposure of sexual organs as well as possession of cocaine and possession of drug paraphernalia. Magnus was being held in the Broward County mail jail on over $26,000 bail as of Wednesday morning.
The cops didn't actually verify if Matthew does, in fact, have the world's biggest penis -- at least they didn't say. That honor goes to this guy and the award for the smallest penis in the world, goes to this guy.

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