If You're Not a Millionaire, Don't Watch This

Craig Rowin is sorta like a golddigger; He wants $1 million. Why? Your guess is as good as his. He just wants the money, godamnit!

Update:

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Boss Orders Female Employees to Wear Red Bracelets When They're On Their Periods

A boss in Norway has ordered all female employees to wear red bracelets during their periods to explain why they're going to the bathroom more often. That finding was revealed in a study on how businesses obsessed with lost productivity due to employees spending too much time in the toilet manage.

It found 66 percent of managers made staff ask them for an electronic key card to gain access to the toilets so they could monitor breaks. Toilets in one in three companies were placed under video-surveillance, while other firms made staff sign a toilet 'visitors book', the report by the Parat union said. It added: "But the most extreme action was taken by one manager who made women having their period wear a red bracelet to justify more frequent trips to the loo. Women quite justifiably feel humiliated by being tagged in this way, so that all their colleagues are aware of this intimate detail of their private life." The report, which did not name the firm imposing red bracelets on female staff, has now been passed on to Norway's chief comsuner ombudsman Bjorn Erik Thon. He said: "These are extreme cases of workplace monitoring, but they are real. Toilet Codes relating to mentrual cycles are clear violations of privacy and is very insulting to the people concerned. I hope and believe that this is not representative of the Norwegian working life in general. We receive many complaints about monitopring in the workplace, which is becoming a growing problem as it is so often being used for something other than what it was originally intended for. We will be carrying out a full review of the rules surrounding employment and privacy over the coming year.'

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Mariah Carey's Loopy HSN Visit

Mariah is the latest celebrity to begin hawking tchotchkes on HSN (mostly a fragrance). She was on the network for several hours on Monday and the folks over at fourfour noticed that she repeatedly repeated herself, so they made a video.




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Moo! Shoplifters Hid Stolen Goods Under Their Belly Fat

Ailene Brown, 28, and 37-year-old Shmeco Thomas -- two orcas from Edmond, Okla. -- were arrested for shoplifting and are facing felony charges after they stuffed $2,600 worth of TJ Maxx merchandise items under their belly fat and breasts.


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Career Criminal Claims Cops Are Cramping His Style

Kevin Garner, 43, of Albuquerque, NM was arrested for the 127th time on Monday for meth possession. He says police are targeting him and violating his civil rights. Unlikely.



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Woman Claims to Own the Sun, Plans to Fine Anyone Who Uses It

A woman from Galicia, Spain said she registered the sun at a local notary public as being her property.

Angeles Duran, 49, told the online edition of daily El Mundo she took the step in September after reading about an American man who had registered himself as the owner of the moon and most planets in our Solar System. There is an international agreement which states that no country may claim ownership of a planet or star, but it says nothing about individuals, she added. "There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first." The document issued by the notary public declares Duran to be the "owner of the Sun, a star of spectral type G2, located in the centre of the solar system, located at an average distance from Earth of about 149,600,000 kilometres." Duran, who lives in the town of Salvaterra do Mino, said she now wants to slap a fee on everyone who uses the sun and give half of the proceeds to the Spanish government and 20 percent to the nation's pension fund. She would dedicate another 10 percent to research, another 10 percent to ending world hunger -- and would keep the remaining 10 percent herself. "It is time to start doing things the right way, if there is an idea for how to generate income and improve the economy and people's well-being, why not do it?" she asked.

Cuckoo! BTW: Angeles, pictured, hasn't figured out how she'll enforce her sun charge.

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Men Raped Woman With Live Snake

Two Wisconsin men are facing sexual assault charges after a woman claims they used a live snake to assault her.

The 32-year-old woman was at a house party on Platt Street in Eau Claire last week when Damonta Jones invited her into his bedroom to look at pictures of his children. When the woman walked into the room, she says she was hit over the head and thrown to the floor. Jones then allegedly held her while John Bullock raped her. The two men then allegedly assaulted her using a live snake. Police say at the time of the incident, Jones was on supervision and had a GPS tracker for two previous sexual assault convictions.

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Man Lost Sight Every Time He Had Sex

As they say, love is blind, but for a British man, he literally goes blind every time he had sex.

The unnamed patient would lose his sight every time he climaxed during intercourse. Bafflingly, the blindness would never occur while performing any other strenuous exercise, the NCBI ROFL blog claimed. The original report, published by the Department of Ophthalmology at Glostrup Hospital, University of Copenhagen, revealed the cause of the condition to be vasoconstriction, where the muscle walls contract around a blood vessel, restricting the flow of blood. Vasoconstriction is the same condition that causes erectile dysfunction. Doctors had earlier speculated that an embolism was causing the man’s blindness. The report said: "Hypothetical mechanisms of transient monocular visual loss in our patient include vasoconstriction or embolism in the arterial blood supply of the eye. The repeated and completely transient nature of our patient's symptoms supports the fact that embolism was not involved."

The man was eventually treatedusing drugs to widen his blood vessels.


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Monday Madness

We're back! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving weekend. Here's what you might have missed.







Meanwhile, on Amtrak...



Per the video description: "I was coming home from Thanksgiving break when Border Patrol came onto the train and asked everyone what their immigration status was. Officer B. Snyder spoke with this couple for a moment, then took them away. This occurred on Saturday, November 27th at around 10am. We were in Buffalo, NY."

What's that smell?


Sidebar: What ever happened to the millions and millions of dollars donated after the earthquake?

And in Delhi, India, women beat men (and ordered them to do sit-ups) for entering a women-only train car.


The Times of India reports: The police commissioner said complaints of men getting into the reserved coach and harassing women were becoming frequent. ``We have been getting a lot of complaints from women, including the lady wardens posted by DMRC, about eve-teasing and harassment. We deliberately chose the Guru Dronacharya station (for a surprise check) since there are maximum number of passengers in the train coming from Delhi,'' he said. ``As suspected, we found many male passengers in the women's coach. The moment the women saw us, they got the courage to teach the men a lesson. We will continue this drive and ask women NGOs to also take part. We want our young girls and women to feel confident and safe while travelling in the Metro.''



The happiest wedding video ever!!!




Finally, a stampede at a Buffalo, NY Target store on Black Friday.

What The Hell Just Happened?

On the Dutch version of So You Think You Can Dance, a b-boy brought along a kick stand. Wait, what?!?


Sidebar: Speaking of talent, EJ can blow! He slayed this performance of "Listen" on Eat Bulaga!, a daily talent show in the Philippines.

Man Accused of Killing His Mother Holds Craziest, Scariest Press Conference of the Year

Emilio Eduardo da Rocha Deveza is batshit crazy. Clearly. The 33-year-old was arrested in Cerro Azul, Paraná, Brazil for the murder of his mother, Jardim Carmem, recently. According to police, he killed his mother after she allegedly using his credit card without his permission.

Here's a translation of the crazy:
Emilio: "...My rights to remain silent, I don't wanna talk to Bandeirantes (TV station), all right?

Reporter: Why did you killed your mother?
Emilio:It doesn't matter to you, you clown! All right, sucker? I like the cameras, the mic for me is everything, but for you - I dont wanna talk to you… eh? DIE, YOU DEVIL!

Reporter: Say something to us.
Emilio: I'm talking! DIE, you DEVIL.

Reporter: What happened? Did she used you credit cards or...
Emilio: This is my business, all right. I want you to FUCK YOURSELF… son of a BITCH. Are you listening? Wanna record that? So...


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FIGHT! NYC Bodega Beatdown

A man walked into an East Harlem bodega accusing someone of owing his 11-year-old cousin money then proceeded to throw things around. Uh-oh!




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LISTEN: Dennis Rodman Gets a Professional During Interview

Former basketball star Dennis Rodman called into the Jorge Sedano Show in Miami this morning to talk about the struggles of the Miami Heat, but he couldn't focus and we can't help but wonder: Was his lady friend on her knees giving him a professional during the interview? Yessir!




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Fantasia Barrino Admits to Aborting Antwaun Cook's Baby, Knowingly Dating a Married Man

Homewrecker Fantasia Barrino admitted she got pregnant by her married lover and had an abortion a few days before her "suicide attempt" three months ago, according to the folks over at RadarOnline.

She made the revelation while appearing at Mecklenburg County Court, NC at Antwaun Cook's divorce proceedings from his wife Paula Cook on Monday.

Facing questions before a Mecklenburg County Court judge, the famous singer, 26, was pressed on whether she knew Cook was living with Paula when they embarked on their illicit affair. The Idol season three winner has acknowledged she dated Cook “off and on for about 11 months” but said she believed he had separated from his wife. In court, lawyers for the scorned wife pressed Fantasia about a hotel rendezvous that took place just a few days after meeting one another. “Paula’s lawyer is arguing that they got the room because she knew he was still married,” one onlooker – who was inside the court – told RadarOnline. There were no reporters in the courtroom and witnesses were asked to leave as Fantasia took the stand. But multiple sources, including a Cook family source, confirmed Fantasia's explosive testimony to RadarOnline.

Fantasia, who is still dating Antwaun, attempted to off herself in August by taking an overdose of aspirin after reading a court complaint filed by Paula naming her as a homewrecker. The two women attempted to come to an arrangement during a 12-hour mediation session on November 1, but talks broke down when Fantasia offered Paula a measly $100,000! So, this paves the way for Paula to commence a multi-million dollar lawsuit against Fantasia under the Alienation of Affection law which exists in North Carolina. And yes, the sex tape she has of Fantasia with Antwaun will most certainly be admitted into evidence.


Update: Fantasia is a liar! CNN is reporting that Fantasia testified that she knew from the first day of her relationship with Antwaun that he was married and still living with his wife. Before this, Fantasia has repeatedly said she didn't know Antwaun was married.

Update 2: Here's audio of the homewrecker on the witness stand pretending not know the exact date when she had an abortion. Really who DOESN'T know when exactly they had an abortion?



And the transcript:

Lawyer: "See if you recognize this as being a letter you wrote to Mr. Cook on May 10th 2010" (inaudible)

[Fantasia reads the letter to the court.] "I want you. I pray every night that I can be in your life forever, be your friend, lover, prayer partner, wife and MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN. As long as I can have you I will be the happiest girl in the world." (inaudible)

Lawyer: "Ms Barrino, when you wrote this letter, you said you wanted to be the mother of his children, is this right?"
Fantasia: "Uh huh."

Lawyer: "Were you pregnant with his child when you wrote this letter?"
Fantasia: "No, no."

Lawyer: "Is it true at one point you told him you had an abortion?"
Fantasia's Lawyer: Objection!

(ARGUMENTS BETWEEN LAWYERS)

Lawyer: "Ms Barrino, isn't it true that you told Mr. Cook that you had aborted his child?"
Fantasia: "When I wrote this letter I was speaking in future references. Like, one day, I would love to be all of these things that I wrote. I was not pregnant with his child."

Lawyer: "But did you tell Mr. Cook you aborted his child?"
Fantasia: "I did, yeah."

Lawyer: "When did you tell Mr. Cook you had aborted his child?
Fantasia: "I'm not sure."

Lawyer: "When did you abort his child?"
Fantasia: "It hasn't been too long ago."

Lawyer: "What's not too long ago?
Fantasia: "I'm not sure."

Lawyer: "I'm sorry?"
Fantasia: "I'm not sure. Probably when all this other stuff was happening."

Lawyer: "Is it your testimony that this summer?"
Fantasia: "I'm not really sure."

Lawyer: "How close in proximity was it to Mr. Cook leaving? In June 2010."
Fantasia: "It was right after he left his home."

Lawyer: "Mrs. Cook contends that she separated from Mr. Cook on June 16th 2010. How close in proximity to her date of separation did you contend that you aborted his child?"
Fantasia: "I'm not sure. Probably August when the other stuff happened."




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'Repent! Repent! Repent'! Screams Actor as He Kills Mother With Sword (Update: He Explains Why He Murdered His Mother)

A 31-year-old Haitian-American actor is facing murder charges after he hacked his mother to death with a Freemasonsword while screaming Bible passages at her last night in their Brooklyn, NY apartment after watching For Colored Girls. Neighbors said they heard Michael L. Brea, who appeared on "Ugly Betty" and in "Step-Up 3-D" chasing his mother (55-year-old Yannick Brea) about the house and screaming "[Bible] passages like, "Repent, Repent, Repent" at her. When cops arrived, Michael had to be tasered. Once they were able to get into the apartment, cops found Yannick dead in the bathroom with multiple stab wounds to her head. (Michael and his twin brother Marcel lived with their mother.)


Update: Additional reports say Yannick was decapitated with the 3-foot sword.

Update 2: Michael is fucking insane! While in the prison ward at Bellevue Hospital, he gave an hour-long interview to the New York Daily News.

"I didn't kill her. I killed the demon inside her," Michael Brea said. "So be it. It was the work of God."

Speaking with white-hot intensity and unflinching confidence, Brea described a shadowy descent into a world filled with Masonic symbolism and black magic beginning late Sunday when he snapped awake.

"I was sleeping in my bedroom. God came above my bed and reached his arm to me," said Brea, wearing a light-blue prison jumpsuit and slippers. He told his tale while sitting unhandcuffed on a blue chair behind a wood table.

"I said, 'God, is my time on earth over?' I heard a voice say, 'Yes Michael, today is your last day.' I asked if I could say goodbye to my family."

The 31-year-old Brea said he told no one about the dream, but the following afternoon, he said he received another sign while at the Prince Hall Masonic Temple in Harlem, which he'd joined a week earlier.

There, he said, a man approached and tried to put a curse on him.

"[He] kept trying to put something in my hand but wouldn't show it to me. I kept opening my hand. It was a Freemason pin. I wouldn't touch it," Brea said.

Felt like Neo from 'The Matrix'

He began feeling ill and left, and while riding the train back to Brooklyn, he said, strangers began speaking to him about his mother.

"I felt like Neo from 'The Matrix.' I began hearing voices and feeling powerful," Brea said. "They were asking about the difference between mom and mother. It was a sign."

When he returned to the family's Prospect Heights apartment, the bit-part actor who once appeared on "Ugly Betty," hugged his mother, a God-fearing Haitian immigrant with whom relatives say he had long been very close.

"I knew I would never see my mother again," he said. "I gave her lots of love."

He went to his room and lit candles, placed a dagger and a 3-foot ceremonial Freemason sword by his side.

Investigators said he had stolen the sword from the Masonic lodge, but Brea insisted his father had given it to him when he was a child.

"It's a powerful sword," he said.

Brea also arranged three saint cards around him - including one of Saint Jude holding a sword.

His mother then knocked on the door and asked him to go to the kitchen and pour water from a pot in which she was cooking three chickens.

"I looked at these chickens lying dead in the pot and a voice told me it was a sacrifice. It was black magic," he said.

Brea left the chickens alone and went back to his room. When his mother asked why he did not do what she had asked, he said she spoke with a different voice.

"She had the voice of the demon. I opened the door with the dagger at my side and the sword," he said.

"I asked, 'Do you believe in God?' She said, 'No, Michael no,' and began screaming. I began slashing her like this," he said, bringing his right hand down in a violent hacking motion.

Sickening trail of blood

Brea chased his mother from room-to-room, repeatedly swinging the sword, leaving a sickening trail of blood in his wake.

"I didn't want to kill her right away. I wanted to give her time to get right with God," he said.

By this point police had arrived outside the apartment, but Brea said he had no doubt he would be able to finish the job.

"I was slashing my mom and I heard the police knocking on the door yelling, 'Michael, open up, Michael, open up,' but I knew they wouldn't open the door and stop me because the spirits were protecting me," he said.

"I just kept cutting her. No one could stop me. I was doing the work of God," he said.

"I'm named after a saint myself - Saint Michael. He was protecting the house from the police. They weren't allowed to enter the apartment."

Neighbors complained that the officers who initially responded failed to do enough to get inside and stop the sword-wielding maniac before his mother died.

Police officials said the officers handled the situation properly and were waiting for better equipped and trained Emergency Service Unit cops to arrive.

When they finally broke the door down, cops found a trail of bloody footprints and handprints on the walls and floors, and Yannick Brea crumpled on her knees in the bathroom.

Her son stood amid the carnage with the sword in one hand and a Masonic Bible in the other.

"I heard voices telling me how powerful I was, saying 'Oh he's good,'" Brea said.

While recounting the gruesome murder, Brea showed no remorse, and his eyes stayed locked on a reporter.

His intensity only broke for a moment when he said he was thirsty and his mouth was dry. Guards gave him a wet towelette to dab at his lips.

Brea said he is convinced he did the right thing.

"Grand Architect of the Universe means God," he said, referring to an expression neighbors said he shouted as he was being removed from the bloody scene. "I was praising God. To you it might sound silly, but in my culture demons are very real."

Do we really need to pay taxpayers' money to prosecute this maniac then spend millions to feed and house him in prison for the rest of his pitiful life? We say kill it with fire, now!

Update 3: On Dec. 3, the POS/monster was officially charged with second-degree murder and criminal possession of a weapon. He did not enter a plea.







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Squeaky Bed Lands Couple in Court

A German couple was in front a judge recently after neighbors complained that their bed made too much noise while they were boning.

Stefanie Mueller, 24, faced a fine for one night of passion with partner Lucas Zetsch, 25, that woke up the neighborhood. Police said they received ten complaints from neighbours of the pair in the city suburb of Lichtenberg on the night in question in July this year. The pair were summoned under anti-noise-pollution laws but they refused to pay the £86 penalty. This led to a court hearing in Berlin where Miss Mueller, a hotel worker, said; "We weren't that loud." The judge said; "Perhaps not you, but your bed. We have witness statements that it was heard banging and squeaking around the neighbourhood from 11.30pm until 1.00am the next morning." Mr Zetsch told the court: "It was totally normal sex, nothing exciting" – a remark which earned him a scornful look from Miss Mueller, who snapped: "Thanks – that was nice." Then she left the court. The judge threw the case out as the complainants did not show up for the hearing.

Wait! Hasn't it been established that loud sex is a human right? No?


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Superhead on Domestic Abuse: 'I Go Back Knowing That, One Day, He’ll Kill Me But He’s All I Have'

When Superhead, er, Karrine Steffans married Darius McCrary last year, we were stunned. These two were involved in volatile and violent relationship, so marriage was the last thing we thought they'd commit to. Then we found out it was all a lie! Now, in a open letter to Vibe magazine, Superhead admits that she has deep, psychological wounds and that her boyfriend/lover/jumpoff is tirelessly beating her ass, but she won't quit him because she doesn't know how. Plus, she loves and need him.

I’ve been a victim of abuse all my life –– literally, for as long as I can remember. It is my norm. Whereas most people would run in the other direction the moment someone physically, emotionally, or mentally abuses them –– I stay.

It’s a sickness and just when I think I am cured, the cancer spreads.

For the past several years, I have been involved in a highly abusive relationship. I have been choked, whipped with belts, thrown about, berated, belittled, raped, and disregarded as a human being. I have been abandoned and embarrassed, then, loved and coddled.

I have been caught in a vicious cycle and have left on many occasions, just to return.

I have found little support from my friends and family because I complain, and I cry, then I go back for more. I go back knowing that, one day, he’ll kill me but he’s all I have. He’s the only one who understands because he’s stuck in this cycle, too.

When I try to confide in friends they ask, “Well, what did you do to him? What did you say to him?” They tell me, “You know how he is, he’s never going to change, so why do you stay? You know what you’re getting into. Don’t tell anyone because he’ll come out looking good and you’ll only make yourself look bad.” It’s always my fault.

No one understands – not even me.

So, I keep it all to myself and it continues. Then, we make up and vow it will never happen again –– then it does and I feel so foolish for ever believing he can change or that we can change. Then, I begin to believe again. I believe even now.

I love him though it pains me to admit. It sickens me to know that I will return to him in an instant and that the next time could be the last time and that breath, my last breath. Still, I hold out hope that one day we’ll learn how to love one another without pain. I pray that those who look on with smirks and judgments know one thing –– domestic violence is very real and, at times, very final.

If you, or someone you know, has been a victim of domestic violence, please contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at (800) 799-7233.

—Karrine Steffans‐McCrary

Wow! Is this a work of fiction or this for real? Or is this "confession," a public dressing down? Wait, didn't she write a book about dealing with such a scenario? Did she not read the book? (Remember when she asked Wendy that?) So many questions. Listen, we're not going to pretend to understand what it feels like to be in a abusive relationship, but what we can say is this: Girl, you're worthy and your son needs you, so now that you've publicly acknowledged what's going on in your private life, it's time to call the national abuse hotline for some help or bail -- before he finally kills you. And further more: Is your 15/16 year-old son witnessing this violence? Why is Superhead still pretending to be married to Darius by using the hyphenated name? And although she isn't Muslim, she should have her phantom husband watch this how-to video.


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'Then I See His Penis Out!'

While traveling on the NYC subway, a perv pulled out his penis and rubbed it on this woman, whom he think would like it. She didn't and she let everyone know it.


NSFW Sidebar: Some animals are just show-offs!

Ghost Attacks Jamaican Boy

For almost a week, an 11-year-old boy in St. Catherine, Jamaica was being attacked by a “duppy” (Jamaican slang for ghost). The boy's family says the ghost is a friend who died four years ago and has recently started to appear to him, overpowering the boy and throwing objects. On Friday, a local pastor exorcised the ghost. He sprinkled olive oil at sections of the house where the boy lives and also rubbed some on the youngster before praying for him, according to the Jamaica Star. After he was prayed for, the boy said he could still see the ghost, but they were not touching and playing with him like before. He should talk to this boy.

Sidebar: Neighbors in another part of town claim a ghost has been throwing stones at a house, hitting the homeowners and anyone who enters. They say "the aggressive ghost brought other ghostly company" to aid in the attack.

What?


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TI Says He Shouldn't Be Sent Back to Prison For Something So 'Petty'

Before being carted off back to prison for a parole violation stemming from a recent arrest in Los Angeles where he was found to be in possession of Ecstasy, codeine and opiates, TI sat down with Vibe magazine for this Nov/Dec 2011 cover story. In the story, the rapper speaks in length about his addiction to drugs, compares his situation to Jesus' (yes, Jesus!) and blames the system (read: the Man) for throwing him back in prison because he was in possession of three measly pills. A parole violation is a parole violation is a parole violation. Get it? Good.

I’ve heard you mention how the good that you’ve done is easily forgotten. Do you feel that you’ve been treated unfairly?
If I place my value in the way humans treat me, then maybe. But they’re human, man―they can’t help themselves. They do that to people they know personally. So how can I expect them to treat me, only knowing me through television? They did that to Jesus. They did that to Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali. They did it to every great person you could possibly think of. When it was all good, they was with them. When things got bad, then they was against them.

But in this case things didn’t “get bad.” It’s something you did.
Let me just say this: [he sits up on the couch] If you look at a guy who came up, no pops in the house, moms on welfare, food stamps; started selling dope when he was 12, 13 years old, came up handling guns, being in shoot-outs; started going to jail when he was 15. In all of this chaos and this mischief and lawlessness, the person who was just in jail for machine guns and silencers turns his life around. And now you want to crucify him ―for what? Three pills. I mean, of course it’s wrong and unacceptable and inexcusable. No problem. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s rather petty. It’s rather petty to hold someone’s feet to the fire for something so small when they have overcame things that were so big. All that could have been going wrong―if I was riding with more guns, or if I had gotten into a shoot-out and killed somebody, then I could see that. But just think about it. I’ve gotten it down to this much.

How did you get a drug habit?
I had a lot of work done to my teeth. Oral surgery, extractions, six, seven, eight root canals. Between January to February. As soon as I got out, I had a lot of stuff done. In the joint, you eat shit that is unhealthy for you. I had fillings that fell out and stuff that had to get dealt with. Of course for the pain they gave me oxycontin and hydrocodone. And, mind you, on October 13, 2007, I had cut off everything―weed, alcohol. Then I get these pills and I start taking them for the pain at first. And then I’m like, Wait―this shit makes me feel good. And it’s legal. After the pain went away, I kept taking it. I had like five, six prescriptions. So I had, like 80 pills. Everybody else might have a drink or smoke a blunt, I took a pain pill. Times when I had 18-, 20-hour days, I’d take a pain pill. And eventually I developed―I guess―the beginning stages of dependence.

Have you talked to Eminem about addiction?
Sure. We got a record together, and we talked a lot. I asked him how he knew he was an addict. Basically if you put yourself in harm’s way... if you risk that, you’ve got to assume that there is something fundamentally wrong with your thought process.

TI, does come off contrite and honest (save for the ridiculousness about why he shouldn't get additional jail time), but as they say, the first step to full recovery is to admit that you have a problem (and a realization that you're spend an additional 11 months in prison), so we wish TI good luck.



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Shock! Pastor Who Ordered Couples to Get Off Facebook Had Extramarital Affair

Last Tuesday, pastor Cedric Miller, 48, told 50 married leaders at his Living Word Christian Fellowship Church to delete their Facebook accounts or resign. Well! Over the weekend it was revealed that the pastor had a long-standing three-way sexual relationship with his wife and a male church assistant 10 years ago.

It found transcripts from a criminal trial against the church assistant in 2003, in which details emerged of what Rev Miller has since called "a very painful part of my past." In the case, which was eventually dismissed, he testified that his wife, Kim, had an affair with the assistant, and that he and the man's wife were often present at their meetings. "I mean between the four of us," Rev Miller said. "It was just, I mean there was touching ... it was crazy, it was as wrong as wrong could get." Asked by a lawyer whether he was talking about "sex", Rev Miller replied: "Yes". He described their behaviour as "beyond what was appropriate." Rev Miller told the court that the meetings between the couples often took place after Thursday Bible study sessions and after church services on Sundays. He said in a statement: "This was resolved at that time and accordingly we will not allow it to detract from our mission at hand to save as many marriages as we can."

He's offer to resign from the church, but when he informed congregants yesterday of the news, they burst out in cheers and applause. During the sermon, he reaffirmed his conviction that Facebook can potentially serve to reignite old flames of passion in married congregants with persons from their past and as we all know, Facebook is the devil!



Update, Nov. 24: Pastor Miller has agreed to take a leave of absence from the church following a church vote Tuesday night on his status as senior pastor. He said he will return to the pulpit "eventually."



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The Best Photo of Michael Jackson

This photo of Michael Jackson taking a bottle of vodka to the head with two little people on his knees is apparently very real.

Heeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!


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Two Things You May Not Know About John Travolta: 1: He's a Bottom; 2: He Dates Black Men. (Bonus: He's a Sucker For a Big Penis)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

This Photo Was NOT Altered

We've already crowned the winner of the Best Mug Shot of 2011, but this fella gets the award for The Most Bizarre. Carlos Rodriguez was arrested in Miami on Nov. 9 for solicitation of a prostitute and posed for these mug shots. On that night, he was merely trying to get some "brains," if you know what we mean -- and we think you do. Mr "Half-a-Head" was jailed previously for public intoxication, possession of weed and burglary.




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Are You Kidding Me?

Chicago's WGN morning news stopped their regular bantering to cut live to a bridge implosion. There was much build-up, but then they cut to the weatherman for a few seconds and........

Lady Goes to Hospital For a Gyno Exam, Both Feet Are Amputated

Stacey Galette of Brooklyn, NY says she went to see a gynecologist for a routine procedure at Winthrop University Hospital in Oct. 2009 and doctors pierced her intestine during the procedure, causing a dangerous infection. The infection led to gangrene in her legs, which resulted in a double amputation. Naturally, she's suing the hospital. As she should.

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This Couple is Already Waiting in Line For Black Friday

Black Friday isn't until next week, but the Davenport family has already pitched a tent. They've been camping out in front of a Best Buy store in St. Petersburg, Fla. since Wednesday! For being first, the store gave the Davenports free iPads. What can we really say that hasn't already been said about their idiocy. We mean, really!?!


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It's Been a Few Months Since DMX Was Arrested, So It Was Only a Matter of Time

Crackhead DMX is back behind bars. Again. The 39-year-old exrapper was arrested at his home in Arizona last night for a felony charge of violating probation. There are reports that he was in the possession of cocaine and Oxycontin. He was also cited for failing to submit to drug testing, failing to participate in counseling programs, failure to make payments, and driving on a suspended license. Last March, he was sentenced to 20 months intensive probation with six months in jail after he was re-re-re-re-arrested for violating his parole after he was found in possession of crack. He served several months in prison for theft, drug possession and animal cruelty. He was sentenced to 90 days in jail last July for a 2002 reckless driving conviction, which means he just got out of jail and now he's back in the clink. Hee-haw!

Update, Nov 24: DMX appeared in court today and denied he used cocaine and OxyContin. Prosecutors claim the crackhead rapper used cocaine and OxyContin, failed to submit to drug testing and drove on a suspended license, hence his arrest.

Update, Dec. 16: DMX was sentenced to one year in prison.


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Couple Asks Internet Users to Vote on Whether They Should Have an Abortion or Not

A Minneapolis couple, who have been married for 10 years, is preparing for the arrival of their first child. But that might all change, if John Q Public decides they should have an abortion instead.

Pete and Alisha Arnold, both 30, started blogging about their pregnancy last September, but on their Web site, which prominently display dozens of images of their unborn baby's ultrasound, there's a poll that asks, "Should we give birth or have an abortion?" The poll closes on December 7, two days before the end of the 20th week of pregnancy and their last chance to legally get an abortion.

"We are taking this very seriously. It's definitely not a pro-life campaign, we believe in a woman's right to choose. It's kind of like Congress. They might vote for something, but the president has the final veto. If it's overwhelming one way or the other, that will carry a lot more weight," they told the folks over at Gawker.

Alisha said that three miscarriages in under a year -- the first at 16 weeks and the second at five weeks. During the second pregnancy, the couple considered putting whether they had that baby up a public vote, but they lost the baby.

When she became pregnant this time, she decided to launch the poll. The latest results show a fairly split opinion, with 46% voting to keep the baby and 53% wanting the couple to have an abortion. (Addendum: Since the story became public, the tides have shifted: With more than 21,000 votes, 80% of respondents are encouraging the couple to give birth.)

Alisha, who's now 17 weeks pregnant with a boy, wrote on her blog:

So it’s official. I’m pregnant. And I’m not certain how I feel about it. Sure, Pete and I have been married for almost a decade now with no kids to show for it, but I’m not convinced that I want to change the status quo. I feel that as I age I’ve actually gotten more selfish and set in my ways. I’m afraid that I will eventually regret starting a family and “settling down”, as they say. I fear that the constant pressure to be the perfect wife and mother while maintaining a full-time job will eventually cause my brain to implode and lead to a nervous breakdown. And the fact that this pregnancy puts a big hold on my weight-loss progress is disappointing. Add in the fact that I’ve had three unsuccessful pregnancies already and I’m sure you’ll understand why my stress-level is going through the roof. On the other hand I’ve always loved kids (okay, most kids) and encountering a baby in a store or a park will undoubtedly lead me to silly smiles and “baby talk”. I enjoy attending baby showers for my friends and family and look forward to the opportunity to spend time with my young nephews. I glance wistfully at mothers pushing baby strollers at the fair and continually decorate our nursery in my mind. I imagine what it would look like to see Pete holding our son or daughter in his arms and the goofy smile that it would bring to his face. All of this leads me to believe that maybe having a little one to cuddle and love wouldn’t be so bad…But this is where it starts. If I wasn’t pregnant there wouldn’t be a decision to be made, but I’ve definitely got one “on board” so I guess that we’ll just go from here....This pregnancy can go one of three ways: it continues and I give birth to a healthy baby, we decide to abort, or something goes wrong and I miscarry again. The only one we have any control over is a decision to abort, anything else is decided by God, fate, etc. So I will continue to document what is happening with my pregnancy and (hopefully) you all will continue to vote.

She adds:

My OBGYN informed me this morning that I still had a 50% chance of miscarrying and that this bleeding from the hematoma could continue throughout my pregnancy or it could clear up at some point in the future. So what did I get out of this day of firsts? I lost 4.5 hrs of my life to waiting for blood tests, an ultrasound, and a pelvic exam in the ER as well as a bunch of stress and the conviction that working out during this pregnancy is going to be an issue. So it’s kind of a catch 22…Working out creates endorphins and relieves stress, but if it causes trips to the ER the good benefits don’t outweigh the bad.

Can some please call DFYS on these people or is it too early/late? Or is this all one just sick prank?


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WATCH: Argentinian Lawmaker Bitchslaps Political Rival

During a televised debate in the Argentine Congress over budget cuts recently, Graciela Camano punched opposition politician Carlos Kunkel in the mouth then walked out of the chamber.

"Under no circumstances will I allow Mr Kunkel or anyone else to lack respect," she said later. "He wore me out because I have been putting up with him all year long. He kept shouting without making a single proposal....He is always attacking me."

She refused to identify what Carlos said to antagonize her, but he seemed to take the whole thing in stride, applauding her for slapping him.


On a completely unrelated note: Tomorrow is day one of a two-part Oprah's Favorite Things show and we're scared to death. She's promising something so huge, it's bigger than the cars and Australian trips combined! Oh, Lord, help us all!

Heaven is For Real, Says 11-year-old Who Has Been There

Colton Burpo had an emergency appendectomy when he was 4. During the surgery, Colton Burpo, who's now 11, says he visited Heaven where he met his unborn sister who had died in a miscarriage, his great-grandfather who’d been dead for years, and even got a glimpse of both God (who's “very, very big”) and Jesus (who's “rough but [has a] kind face"). Interesting note: There are no old people in Heaven.

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Father Slams Infant Son on Sidewalk, Leaves Lifeless Body in Trash Can

Quindell Sherman of Columbus, Ohio done lost his effing mind! On Tuesday, the 20-year-old was fighting with Sonja Mitchell, the mother of his 3-month-old son, then he he took the infant outside, threw him to the concrete pavement several times and ran off with the infant. The child was later found in a trash can.

According to police, Sherman threw the baby, Jayden Mitchell, on a concrete landing outside 1121 E. 16th Ave. during a fight with the child's mother, Sonia Mitchell, Tuesday night. After punching the mother and the baby's great-grandmother, Carolynne Holmes, Sherman picked up the baby from the landing and flung him an estimated 25 feet into the middle of E. 16th Ave. He ran into the street, grabbed the infant by the arm and "dragged him down the street like a rag doll," police reported. Sherman then "ran into an alley north of 16th Avenue, turned around facing the house ... held the infant high above his head and slammed the baby into the ground." He grabbed the baby again, ran to E. 17th Avenue and hid in a garbage can, where officers said they found him standing on the child.

The POS has been charged with murder and is being held on $2.5 million bond.

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Bachelorette Party Prank Leaves Bride-to-Be Paralyzed

Last June, Rachelle Friedman was to be married to the love of her life, Chris Chapman. After celebrating her bachelorette party, Rachel, 25, and her girlfriends returned home and decided to take a dip in pool. A bridesmaid pushed her head-first into the shallow end of the pool, leaving Rachel paralyzed and unable to move from the neck down. She called Chris and told him the news: "I remember talking to him I wasn't crying I just wanted him to understand the severity of it before he got to the hospital," Rachel told ABC News. "I wanted to make sure he knew what happened that I didn't just break my leg. I said, 'I broke my neck and I'm probably not going to walk,' I was very straightforward and very monotone with him." Rachel and Chris are still together but unable to get married because doing so will make her ineligible for Medicaid. The lovebirds plan to have their "perfect wedding" someday. As for the girlfriend who pushed her in the pool? Rachel says the two are still best friends. "I don't blame her in any way -- I could have easily done the same thing....When people read the story I hope they realize how many times before we did this -- we pushed each other in the pool all the time."


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Receipt: Thank You For Choosing Burger King! Now, F*ck You!

An employee and manager at a Sacramento, Calif. Burger King restaurant were fired after printing an expletive on a customer's receipt. Francisco Perez paid almost $10 on a value meal just before 2am Tuesday. On his receipt, "Fuck You" was printed twice where the "customer number" is usually placed. Francisco said he did nothing to provoke the workers to print the offensive comment on the receipt. "All I did was place my order and I got a 'fuck you' burger," he said. Well take that over of the other options Burger King employees use to show their dislike for customers.

WATCH: Parking Fail

This person was hired to remove the door, no?

Woman: Hello, 911? There's a Plane Falling From the Sky!; Cops: You're a Liar and You're Under Arrest

Last week, Shakela Malcom and her friend Dorothy Denson along Interstate 675 in Atlanta when they saw a plane falling from the sky! So they called police. When police arrived, they accused Shakela of making a false 911 call and arrested her ass. That's weird, because at least 15 people called 911 around the same time that evening about a Delta plane dumping fuel to make an emergency landing. Suffice it to say, if Shakela sees anything suspicious in the future, she won't be calling the cops.


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Smart Phones in America Get Smarter: It Replaces a Credit Card

Ditch your wallets! Verizon Wireless, T-Mobile and AT&T, the biggest mobile carriers in the United States jointly announced today an initiative, now named Isis for the Egyptian god of simplicity, that will change the way customers buy goods and services. Consumers will no longer have to carry around multiple credit cards. They can use a smartphone instead.

The wireless companies plan to roll out the venture within 18 months. Manufacturers will use that time to create cell phone microchips consumers will need for wireless payments, and to build point-of-sale phone readers for stores. To make a purchase, a shopper would log in to a password-protected application on an Isis-ready phone and hold the phone near an electronic reader at the checkout counter. The microchip allows the customer to transfer encrypted information to a bank or credit card company. Consumers would sign for the amount and receive a bill much like a traditional credit card each month. Account holders would sign up for these digital credit, debit or prepaid cards through [the Discover credit card company and British bank Barclays]. Isis executives hope to include other banks as part of the network....In coming weeks, Google will release the newest version of its Android mobile phone operating system, codenamed Gingerbread, which will include special chips and could be used in commerce, the company announced this week. In May, Visa introduced a product that can transform most smart phones, including Apple’s iPhone, into payment devices that can store multiple card accounts in an "e-wallet." Bank of America began testing similar technology in September, while JPMorgan Chase and Wells Fargo are developing their own pilot programs, according to Visa. U.S. Bancorp will begin testing the technology in multiple states this month and plans to offer it to select customers next year.

This technology has been available in Japan, the UK and Turkey for years. Atlanta will serve as one of three test cities, but the question is: Is this technology msafe? Only time will tell. What we really need is the phone above. (Sadly, it doesn't exist...yet.)


Here's how an Isis-ready phone might work:



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Half-Naked Woman Pleasuring Herself Arrested

Police in Naperville, Ill. took 44-year-old Vicki K. Myers down to central booking last Friday on weapons charges after she was found half-naked with a loaded gun and various sex toys in a van parked outside a motel room; She was pleasuring herself while her children were inside the room.

"She originally told officers she was changing," Naperville police Sgt. Gregg Bell said, but later changed her story to say that she went into the van to pleasure herself. "She had some sexual devices in the van." She told police that she had left the kids, none of whom was too young to be left alone, in the room. "That's why she was out in the van doing what she was doing," Bell said.

Vicki admitted to cops that there was a semi-automatic pistol under her seat, but because she didn't have a Firearm Owners Identification card, she was arrested and charged with unlawful possession of a firearm. She will not face child endangerment charges for leaving the kids in the hotel, however, because they were not young enough.


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The Drugs Made Him Do It?

A Bulgarian man left a trail of destruction recently after he took illegal drugs.

"First he cut-off a piece of his penis, and when his father came to help him he sliced off his father's ear. He then ran into the road partially naked and bleeding, where he jumped into a car owned by a young woman who was unloading the trunk and drove off. He went through a red light and crashed into a motorcycle before leaping out of the car and running to a nearby farm where he tried to batter down the door. When that failed he ran down the back of the house and tried to set fire to a haystack. He then stabbed a lamb to death before stripping off his remaining clothes and stealing an axe which he then ran off with completely naked. When police closed in, he climbed up a high-voltage cable and was blasted with several thousand volts."

The man named Angel Atanasov, said he took the drugs with a friend because he was bored, was arrested and admitted to a local hospital, where he's listed in critical condition.

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Goddamn, They Tore This MFer Up!

Why? Why? Whhhhy would anyone do such a thing to a nice-looking Denny's? Whyyyy?

Per the video's description: "Bitchs got THEY shit busted wit chairs the p world bitchs in the corner were talkin hell shit then all they did was throw shit and not hit anybody then was so scarded to come outside they went to jail.............when police came and slammed a bitch east oakland style."

Wow!


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Drunk Woman Tries Her Darndest to Explain Why She Crashed into a Packed School Bus + Other Drunks

Last Friday, Elizabeth Denise Crull was thrown in jail after she struck a school bus packed with children in Orlando, Fla. with her car. But was she drunk? Is the Pope Catholic?

Speaking of drunks: Watch this drunkard try to take his bicycle home...



...and this drunk man's coat weighs a ton!


HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Male Walmart Employee Offers to Pay Male Customer For Sex

David Ham of Huntsville, Ala. was speaking to a male employee recently about losing his job when the unidentified employee came up with a surefire way for the married father of one to make an easy $2000. David tells ABC31, “[The employee] said I know this one guy who can pay you for some jobs, and I was like, OK. I was thinking he was talking about [odd-end] jobs. He had like one of those snickers on his face, and so I asked him what kind of jobs? That's when he told me exactly what he was talking about. He was speaking of terms of paying me $2000 to go back to his place to have sexual relations with him and at the same time this other guy was going to film it and put it on the Internet. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to just reach up and just smack him. I looked at him and I said no, I don't swing that way." As David was leaving the store with his wife, the persistent employee approached him again. "[He] said ‘what do you think about that? You need the money, and I need the money.’ I looked at him and said no, we're not going to do this. I've already told you no. He looked at me, shrugged it off and said I'll talk to you later.” One would think the employee would get the hint and move on, but no; He approached David a third time. David said he and his family were waiting outside the store for a bus when the worker approached him and offered him a ride home. Then, “he told me ‘if I'm going to take you guys home we're going to go by my place.’ I said what for? Did you forget something you need for work? He said no, ‘we're going to do this,’ and then he started getting a little aggressive." David called police and filed a complaint with the store manager.



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Tons of Fucking Sequins!

At a Goodwill designer sale in Seattle last Saturday, the local news was on hand to interview shoppers scavenging for a deal to help a great cause. So when the reporter asked this overjoyed man clutching "tons of fucking sequins" what he was shopping for, the overjoyed man clutching "tons of fucking sequins" told her.

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The Club Can't Handle Him...Ever!

I can't!!!!


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Curtis Got Slapped! Teacher Slaps Fourth-Grader, His Mother Sends 40 Pages of CRAZY Demands to President Obama, Others

After 9-year-old Curtis Bowen (who's black) was allegedly slapped by a teacher (who's white) at Martin Luther King Jr. Elementary School in Kansas City on Oct. 19, his mother, Lisa Henry Bowen, (pictured) sent school district superintendent John Covington a 40-page letter of outlandish and down-right crazy demands, which she cc'ed to President Obama, Vice President Biden, their wives, three senators and more than 20 other state and local officials. In the letter, Lisa (bless her heart) claims the teacher (Ms Curry) slapped Curtis with an open hand across 1/4 of his face because he was horsing around outside her classroom. Ms Curry supposedly apologized after the slap-ation, but Curtis didn't accept and his mother has taken matters into her own hands because, according to her, "Ms Curry is one audacious white bitch with 'balls' to come up in my neighborhood and slap black children around."

Lisa, a jazz singer, attempted to file assault charges against Ms Curry, but she got the run-around. So, she tried to report Ms Curry to the Department of Social Services, but the rep allegedly told her it's "not considered child abuse [because Curtis'] skin was not broken with the slap." So, Lisa penned this 40-page document which she posted to her Web site and mailed it to about 200 people.

In the letter, which you can read below, Lisa demands that the school district institutes a "We Don't Hit Kids Here" policy and fire the teacher, but the demands get nuttier and nuttier from there. For instance, Lisa demands that the school gives Curtis a $1,500 Walmart gift card every year for the next nine years, a free college education, two trips to Disney World, nine years of private tennis lessons, season tickets to the opera, theater, and ballet, almost a decade's worth of psychological counseling by "the best black child psychologist in the country," a whole orchestra's worth of new musical instruments, a three-week trip to Africa at a five-star hotel, and a personal audience with President Obama. She also demands the full payment of her mortgage, a new car, home remodeling, free psychological, dental, and medical care for the next nine years, and a job with the school district -- and not just any job; Lisa wants an "independent consulting contract position with the Kansas City Missouri School district, for the next nine years. My consulting fee begins at $15,000 per month, minimum 6 months contract."

Plus, she has created a personal appearance fee schedule. If any "governmental, legal, enforcement and educational system operatives, agents, representatives" wish to speak to her, her husband, Leslie, or their "sovereign property" Curtis, about the slap-ation, then it will cost them. Prices start at $3000 for 45 minutes. (The money which must be wired to her account 10 days in advance.) For Curtis to speak about the slap-ation, it'll cost $4000 plus an additional $6000 because he's accompanied by Lisa and Leslie at all times. In case her 40-page demand letter isn't enough and you want information by regular or e-mail, it will set you back $1000 per page, plus her $3000 fee.

Lisa also enclosed a non-negotiable bill for $250,000 (which she's seeking from five different entities for a total of $1.25 million) to be paid in money orders or silver coins (!) for "the unlawful handling and damaging of God given and ordained personal property, Curtis Bowen, belonging to Lisa Henry."

WE CAN'T!!! Seriously.

Obviously, she anticipated people would conclude that she's one crazy bitch, so Lisa wrote in the letter: "To those ... who say I've gone 'overboard.' I kindly and respectfully invite them to kiss my entire black ass!!!"

BTW: Here's the crazy letter. Go grab some popcorn, pull up a chair and read!




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