Hey, boys and girls. Make it a great weekend. We'll be back Monday afternoon -- hope you'll join us.
While we're away, if you have a tip about a story or something we should look into, post or get a chuckle from, please direct it here.
Here are some of the week's lowlights (and some highlights, too).
- A megachurch pastor OD'd on cocaine and was found dead in a hotel room.
- NBA baller Kobe Bryant assaulted a man -- while at church!
- Speaking of Kobe, the woman who accused him raping her, OD'd on cocaine.
- A woman called 911 after she lost her remote. (Spoiler: Cops showed up and helped her look for it!)
- Comedian Steve Harvey was tapped to host his own daytime talk show.
- RuPaul's Drag Race winner Tyra Sanchez posed for a fierce mugshot.
- Choreographer and pedophile Shane Sparks was finally sentenced to prison for raping an underage girl.
- A woman who married a professional cook, filed for divorce because he cooks better than she does.
- The ladies of CBS's The Talk are bitch-fightin' to the death -- or, at least to the unemployment office.
- An angry McDonald's customer returned to complain about his food -- three hours later.
- Speaking of McDonald's, a man suffered cuts to his mouth after a worker intentionally put a razor blade in his sandwich.
- Man claiming to be vampire broke into a woman's apartment, attacked her and tried to suck her blood. Cuckoo!
- Man robbed store wearing a dress and a pair of briefs over his head.
- Sacrificing livestock for religious purposes is not OK in your barbershop.
- After five years, James Brown is still dead and his body is still not buried -- because his "wife" wants his fortune.
- Crazy lady being Crazy.
- Fat bitch eating her way to become dead-est, fattest bitch.
