Tuesday, January 31, 2012

WATCH: Lady Smokes Cigarette While Using Oxygen Tank, With Predictable Results; Zonkey

A woman from Peoria, Arizona is hospitalized with severe burns after she engulfed in a ball of fire while smoking. AND. USING. AN. OXYGEN. TANK!!!!!!!!!!! We're not gonna call this woman a donkey. We won't. Maybe firefighters were wrong and she wasn't smoking while using oxygen because that would be a stupid thing to do, right? If you need an oxygen tank for smoking too much, you shouldn't be smoking, right? we're gonna stay on this story. Maybe she was cooking and her wig caught on fire. Or, a child was playing with matches. Or, there was gas leak and the home exploded. Or her cats did it. (Sidebar: A man died in Chicago last week after he bed caught on fire because he was smoking and using an oxygen tank.)

Remember yesterday we introduced you to three candidates for Mother of Year? Well, today here's a Father of Year front-runner. Police in Cleveland say Kevin Ford Jr doused his baby mama and their 18-month-old baby boy with lighter fluid then set her on fire. Tiffany Lawson threw the baby out of a second floor apartment window to a woman below then she jumped out of window herself in an effort to save her life. She suffered from first-degree burns to her right hand and leg and a broken right elbow and arm. The baby is doing OK.

Police in Port Charlotte, Florida sure work fast. A year after 18-year-old Krishaun Mercado beat her 2-month-old son until he was hospitalized hospitalized with a stroke and broken bones and fluid on his brain, she was arrested and charged with child abuse. Krishaun says the baby was born with the injuries. Bwahahahaha!

Jonathan Jaxson -- the world's worst publicist and noted famewh*re whom we previously banned from this blog -- needs your prayers. He reveals he was bullied by p0rn star Kim Kardashian's lawyers to the point where he attempted suicide late last year. He's undergone treatment and is doing OK now. It gets better. Boys and girls, life is worth living -- just stay away from public transportation, fast food establishments and Memphis.

Oh my! Mark Berndt, a teacher with over 30 years experience at Miramonte Elementary School, in Los Angeles, California was charged with 23 felony counts of lewd acts upon a child. The details are just mind boggling. The abuse was found out when the 61-year-old too film to a photo shop to be developed. More than 400 images were turned over to police. The photos included at least 23 third-grade students blindfolded, gagged, and in some cases, with insects crawling over their faces. Some of the photos also show female students blindfolded and being fed semen. I just can't! If convicted the sick POS faces life in prison.

In the Bronx, police swooped down on a, elaborate weed farm inside in a five-story building. Cops confiscated 800 marijuana plants and arrested three men, who were charging $5,000 per pound for the weed.

Frank Colla found $8,000 in a briefcase on the side of a busy highway in Tampa, Florida. For once someone is honest by saying he considered keeping the cash, but eventually Frank returned it to the owner, who had placed the briefcase on the roof his car and forgot.

Amanda Trujillo Banner Del Webb Hospital in Sun City West, Arizona was fired from her job as a nurse because she informed a patient about possible complications following surgery.

Look! It's a zonkey!

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