Week in Review: 'Your Instrument Is Yourself'

Hey, boys and girls. Make it a great weekend. Be sure to rest your "instrument" so it can be anew on Monday, when we return. Update: So, we needed an additional day to work on and recharge our "instrument," so we'll see you Tuesday. Update 2: Nothing worth posting happened. See ya Wednesday.

While we're away, if you have a tip about a story or something we should look into, post or get a chuckle from, please direct it here.

Here are some of the week's lowlights (and some highlights, too).

1. The voice of a drugged-out Michael Jackson trial rang out through the courtroom during the trial of Dr Conrad Murray, who's charged with killing the pop star. Plus the audio and transcript of Dr Murray being interviewed by police two days after Michael's killing death.
2. Speaking of Dr Murray, one of his ditsy stripper girlfriends took the stand to explain why gallons and gallons of propofol were shipped to her apartment. She had no clue, but did tell jurors what she does everyday is work on her "instrument" -- and by "instrument" she meant herself, because, in her head, she's a "professional actress." And by professional actress, we mean she's an expert at giving professionals.
3. Speaking of strippers, a 100-year-old woman hired a male stripper for her birthday.
4. Some chick named Evelyn Lozada who appears on "Basketball Wives" slapped Fed and Dem over at MTO with a defamation lawsuit.
5. A man learned he couldn't fly the hard way.
6. Doctors and nuns stole more than 200,000 babies then sold them to infertile couples.
7. Michigan State University is racist. Well, the white students are.
8. An elderly man took a stab at DIY divorce.
9. A lady threatened a UPS driver with a gun because he was late delivering her package,
10. Steve Jobs went to the giant iCloud in the sky.
11. ....And we're walking, we're walking....