This Elderly Man is Cooler Than You Will Ever Be

Get 'em, cat daddy!

via: Reddit

Disgusting Pizza-Lovin' Cat Lady Gets Evicted, Leaves This Foulness Behind

http://www.wmctv.com/story/17933299/landlord-discovers-former-tenants-hoarder-hideout
If you're having dinner or about to have dinner, don't watch this. With that disclaimer out of the way, when Memphis homeowner Chris Wark evicted a school teacher, whom was living in his rental home for seven years, he was disgusted to find what she left behind. When he went for a walkthrough, he walked into the "dirtiest house in America." Any by "dirty", we mean absolutely filthy. Chris said the home took two more days to decontaminate and $10,000 to renovate. As for the ex-tenant, she checked herself into a psychiatric hospital because she's crazy. Obviously.


source: WMC

Motorcyclist Suffers 20-Month Long Erection, Sues BMW

This guy thought he had it bad. Henry Wolf, 52, from San Francisco, California has slapped BMW with a lawsuit after he suffered a severe case of priapism (a persistent lasting erection) after riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle, which was fitted with a Corbin-Pacific seat, for four house back in May 2010. Henry says he's now impotent and someone has got pay.

According to the lawsuit, Wolf claims his injury was caused by the "ridge-like seat on his motorcycle" which he claims was "negligently designed, manufactured and/or installed by the defendants." Wolf claims he's suffered from the long lasting erections for 20-months after the injury occurred. "He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish," the lawsuit claims. Wolf is suing BMW North America, the maker of the motorcycle, and Corbin-Pacific Inc, the maker of the motorcycle seat. The lawsuit was filed on April 26 in San Francisco Superior Court in California, requesting a jury trial. [Lawyer Vernon Bradley] says Wolf suffered from chronic pain after his injury. Several weeks after his injury, Wolf underwent a procedure in hopes to draw blood away from his genitals in an effort to ease his erection, Bradley said. Wolf's problem recently changed from non-stop erection to impotency, Bradley says, and he may have to undergo surgery to fix the problem. Wolf is suing in excess of $25,000 for general negligence and liability. He is seeking reimbursement for lost wages, hospital and medical expenses, and general damage.

source: WBTV

WATCH: Woman Wakes Up in Body Bag + High Gas Prices Send Man into a Rage

In 2011, several tornadoes ripped through Alabama and Georgia, killing almost 400 people. A neighbor found Glynis Lawson's body more than 100 feet away from her home among the dead. Glynis was in bad shape. Her hip was broken, shoulder dislocated, there was a hole in her back and her nose and one ear were almost severed from her head. She was conscious at first, but slipped unconscious and, at some point, someone decided she was dead and wrapped her in a black tarp, what they were using for makeshift body bags. Her body was taken to a makeshift morgue where a nurse heard moans and found Glynis still alive.




Neighborhood watchman Dave Toledo has been threatening to assault the punks who slashed his car tire and dozens others in his neighborhoood. Now for the shocking twist: Dave is the punk responsible for the slashing and has it turns out, he has been slashing his neighbors' car tires since 2003.






This wiener war is heating up. An Albuquerque hot dog vendor (Eric Kilmer) is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon after he slammed his hot dog cart into a rival.






Meanwhile, at Atlantis in The Bahamas, pauper and alleged heroin addict Dennis Rodman threatens to break a teenage boy's neck. According to the YouTuber: "The kid only asked Dennis to take a shot with him and his friends and then he started calling the kid gay for no reason then the video starts."






After a whole 15 minutes of negotiations with a suicidal man, officers allegedly grew restless and opened fire, killing him. When the victim's father and brother showed up to the scene seeking answers, they were arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.






The streets of Detroit are not safe. Not even for the elderly. Phil Clark, 67, was robbed and beaten almost to death.






↪ A man, upset about the price of gas at a Brockton, Massachusetts gas station, flew into a rage and demanded his money back.

Naturally, A Sunlight-Only Diet Is Not Safe For Life

A Swiss woman, aiming to live on "pranic nourishment" (ie, surviving on light alone) has died. Shocking, we know. According to reports, Anna Gut (not her real name) was in her early fifties when she saw the film, “In the Beginning There was Tight,” a documentary in which two men claim to survive entirely on light.

Anna Gut started her long preparations for the process by reading a book by another proponent of "breatharianism", 54-year-old Australian Ellen Greve, who also goes by the name Jasmuheen, or eternal air. Anna Gut followed the instructions for the first stage to the letter: she had no food or drink for a week, and even spat her saliva out. For weeks two and three, she resumed drinking again, but she visibly weakened and her children became concerned. She calmed them and promised she would stop should the situation ever become critical. But one day last winter, when she failed to answer the phone, the children broke down the door to find their mother dead inside. The autopsy showed simply that she had died of starvation, ruling out any other contribution to the cause of death....In 1997, 31-year-old Timo Degen from Munich died from circulatory collapse during an attempt to live on light alone. A 53-year-old New Zealander, Lani Morris, also died from a stroke caused by fluid loss in 1998, and in 1999, Verity Linn, an Australian was found emaciated in a lake in Scotland having tried to follow light nourishment practices, Tages Anzeiger reports....[P]roponents of light nourishment dismiss such deaths, sometimes accusing the deceased of acting negligently or otherwise saying the true cause of death had not been properly established. Others look for spiritual reasons. The mystics believe in the power of light nutrition despite the reams of available evidence that show how the body needs energy and hydration from food and drink to survive. When deprived of food, the body will begin to use up its reserve energy from muscle and organ tissue. The liver and immune system become damaged and the risk of infection increases.

source: The Local

You're not a plant, eat real food.

WATCH: Lady Gives Birth to 7th Baby Born Addicted to Drugs + Donkey Robs Elderly Sisters

Mother of the Year Daiquiri Miller, 34, of Tulsa, Ohio gave birth to a baby girl last month and like the six previous children she bore, the newborn was taken away. Why? Like her other children, the newborn was born addicted to cocaine. It's a shame that so many women desperate for a baby are unable to get pregnant, but this fertile crackhead is just popping them out left and right. But the good thing is, these seven children are now with loving, caring families.





Meanwhile, in Baltimore, Kenisha Thomas' batshit craziness is beyond belief. At the end of a one-hour supervised visit with her 8-month-old daughter, Pretty Diamond at the Department of Social Services, Kenisha pulled out a large kitchen knife out of her purse and began to stab the child repeatedly about the face and neck. During the melee, she was overhead saying: “Kill the baby. I hope my baby is dead. Lock me up. If I can't have her, no one will.” Cuckoo! She was arrested and charged with attempted murder, child abuse, assault, reckless endangerment and weapons charges. But how did she smuggle a knife into the building with a metal detector? Authorities are investigating.







Here's the beef. A cow named Darcy escaped from her pen in Brush, Colorado and and hoofed it a half a mile to the local McDonald's drive-thru. True story.





Atlanta police have been unable to put a dent in the burgeoning hair weave thefts because "hair doesn't have tracking numbers." Here's video of a group of thieves crashing a U-Haul truck into a beauty salon and making off with $2,000 of luxurious human hair.






Three 8th grade students were expelled from a school in Griffith, Indiana, for making threats Facebook to kill their ugly classmates. Now the parents of the three students are suing the school because administrators can't take a joke and the students’ comments are protected by their First Amendment right to free speech. Wait, what?





Meanwhile, someone has developed "Ugly Meter" app that measures one's ugliness. Because we're in slow news station cycle, the Chicago Fox affiliate decided to take it for a test run.






17-year-old Amanda Dougherty was barred from attending her prom because (...wait for it...) she no longer has a date.





I. Just. Can't. CAN. NOT.






↪ Adam Bardisa has some issues. The 19-year-old robbed a 96-year-old wheelchair bound woman and her 84-year-old sister of their pocketbook as they boarded a bus in Palm Beach County, Florida. While committing the heinous act, the 96-year-old fell out of her wheelchair and broke two ribs. Adam ran away from the scene, but his father saw the surveillance video on the news and called police. He was arrested and charged with robbery and aggravated battery on a person 65 years of age or older. Bail was set at $25,000.

Sleepy Man Files Police Report After He's Awoken By Flight Attendant

It's a story that would be unbelievable if it weren't true.

A 37-year-old Arizona man filed a police complaint against a flight attendant who tapped him on the knee with a magazine to wake him up. Kevin Johnson told Indianapolis International Airport police he was asleep in a chartered Million Air flight that arrived at 8:53 a.m. Sunday when the incident happened. Johnson said as he slept and the plane taxied to the gate, he was "rudely interrupted" by a flight attendant, according to a police report. Officer Ricky Seconds wrote that Johnson "had no physical signs of injury, no complaint of pain and no paralysis from the magazine."

source: Indianapolis Star

Cuckoo craziness.

Neighborhood Watchmen Pull Guns on Couple Changing Locks On Their New Home

Robert Canoles and his son Branden are facing aggravated assault, false imprisonment and criminal trespass charges after cops begrudgingly launched an investigation into their actions last Thursday. According to Jean-Joseph Kalonji, 61, and his 57-year-old wife, Angelica, they were changing the locks on a home in Covington, Georgia recently purchased by their son when self-appointed neighborhood watchmen Robert and Branden, brandishing semi-automatic weapons, swooped down on the couple and held them at gunpoint until five deputies arrived. The Kalonjis, who didn't have any paperwork on them to prove their son was the owner of the foreclosed property, urged deputies to call their son. But they never did, opting instead to handcuff the retired couple and charge them with loitering and prowling. The said they overheard officers praising Robert for holding them at gunpoint. The charges against the Kalonjis were dropped. The deputies are facing an internal investigation and Robert and his son remain behind bars.

source: WSB

White Man Beaten By Black Mob in 'Retaliation For Trayvon Martin,' Hate Crime Not Suspected

Last weekend, 40-year-old Matthew Owens was beaten to a pulp on his porch in Mobile, Alabama by a group of black men, women and children after getting into a verbal spat with some kids who were playing basketball in the street. The boys left, but shortly afterward a group of adults arrived and confronted the man. The men attacked Matthew with bats, bricks and a paint can. He remains hospitalized in serious condition. While witnesses say some of the attackers (reports claim as 20 people were responsible) proclaimed the beating was “in retaliation for Trayvon Martin." The police investigators can't verify that statement and Mobile Mayor Sam Jones says there's no evidence of a hate crime. “It’s really been blown out of proportion, and I would just caution people not to be a part of threat,” Mayor Jones adds. The Internet, however, is going wild and the national media's radio silence is just fueling their anger. Where are Rev Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson?


source: WALA

WATCH: Deion Sanders Speaks Out About Estranged Wife 'Attacking' Him + Pistol Packin' Granny Shoots Would-Be Robber

Former NFLer Deion Sanders says his estranged wife Pilar Sanders, from whom he filed for for divorce in December and is still living with, walked into his bedroom and attacked him. He says she bit him. Pilar was arrested on suspicion of assault. Her bail is set at $264. A mess! These two are crazy. (UPDATE, May 24: Deion was was cited for misdemeanor simple assault for his part in the altercation. He wasn't arrested, but faces a fine up to $500.)



Is nothing sacred? A man in drag was caught on tape trying to steal several purses from a churchgoers on Easter Sunday.





Patrick Lanzo, a bar owner in Paulding County, Georgia, is bigot and racist and he's not apologizing for it.





Add Lulu Campbell to the growing list of gun-totin' grannies who should not be messed with. Granny Lulu, who owns more guns than she can count, was parked in her daughter's driveway in Macon, Georgia, looking through her purse for her phone, when two men started yelling and demanding money. They shot at her car and she shot back, wounding one of the would-be thieves.

Inmate's Facebook Status Updates: 'Good Gonja,' 'Getting Plenty of Food and Money'

This is hilarious. Martez Wright, who's serving a six-year sentence for violation of probation on aggravated burglary and theft convictions, is "livin it up" in a Memphis prison. Life as a convicted felon is apparently so good, he couldn't wait to brag about it to his family and friends. Don't be silly, he didn't write them a letter. Instead (using an illegal cell phone), he made videos and posted them to his Facebook page boasting about the weed he's smoking and the food he's eating. “We’re eating around here, man. I don’t know about y'all on the street, but I know we eating in here, man," he says in one of the videos. “Man, we having so much (expletive) around here, it’s like we got a food stamp card in this (expletive), man.” Hee-haw!




Meanwhile at Walmart, Eric Wilson and Clayton Cates were arrested and charged with stealing more than $600 worth of meat.




And, by the way, crazy Mel Gibson is drinking again. Hurraaayyyyy!!!

Granny Pistol-Whips Neighbor Over Noisy Kids

Debbie Ann Tucker is the latest in a long line of grannies who are packing heat and not afraid to use it. Be afraid. According to reports, the 46-year-old St Paul, Minnessota woman got into an argument around 10:30 Wednesday night with a 20-year-old man and a woman over their kids running around the apartment building making noise. Words were exchanged and the man pushed granny Tucker away from him with his forearm. She pulled out a black handgun and pistol-whipped his ass, causing the gun to fire. The man suffered a laceration to the head. Granny Tucker, pictured, and her daughter, Maryann Marie Tucker, 28, were arrested on suspicion of felony assault.


source: Pioneer Press

WATCH: Lady Bites Another Lady After Argument Over Parking Spot + Gay Man Kidnaps, Tortures Man He Met Online

A 22-year-old San Francisco woman suffered serious bite marks to the chest and arms after another woman (32-year-old Sara Gillian) mauled her over a parking spot. According to police, Sara was in a car with a man waiting for a parking spot when the 22-year-old woman (who was also traveling with a man) swooped in and tried to steal the spot. (Another report says Sara was blocking the other woman's driveway.) All hell then broke loose. All four began to fight and Sara latched on to the other woman and bit her repeatedly. Sara was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon; the victim and the two men were not charged.



Mother of the Year Jessica Overton was arrested and charged with child abandonment after she abandoned her 4-year-old son and 10-year-old sister at a McDonalds in Mobile, Alabama for two hours this morning while -- wait for it -- she went to meet her probation officer. We hear you asking. Jessica, 20, was on probation for theft and "dissemination of obscene material." Is that code for child p0rn?





Justin Moore is a donkey. The 20-year-old from Charlotte, NC is facing third degree assault and battery charges after he jumped into a reporter's live shot, snatched the microphone from her hand and began screaming "I am that [N-word]."





Saturday at the Coach outlet store in Santa Fe.





Jo Wollacott bought a $1 bracelet on eBay and suffered abscesses, hives and hallucinations - she even lost her boyfriend, her job her home and her mind -- as a result. Wait, what?





↪ Failing to honor someone's safe word will probably get you 25 to life. A 45-year-old man said he met 47-year old Robert Wendell Thompson online and traveling across state lines to meet, sparks flew. The two engaged in a consensual sexual relationship which included domination, but the man claims things got weird and Robert kidnapped him. Then it get weirder. According to police, Robert abused the man, including intentionally and repeatedly burning him with a cigarettes, forced drug use, injected him with HIV-positive blood, forced ingestion of vomit, and repeated sexual assaults. Oh, hell no! Robert was arrested and charged with domestic violence assault, sodomy, sexual torture, and unlawful imprisonment.

WATCH: Man Strips Naked at Airport + Man Tries to Eat Illegal Tax Return Checks

50-year-old John E. Brennan is tired of TSA agents harassing him, so he took off his clothes while going through airport screening at Portland International Airport Tuesday evening in protest. We were going to say he was suffering from "dehydration" and "exhaustion" like the woman who stripped naked at Denver's airport last week, but in an interview John said he did not arrive at the airport with the intention of getting naked, but the TSA crosses the line between privacy and security. He decided to protest after he was pulled aside after going through the metal detector and a pat-down, he said. "The most effective way to tell them I'm not carrying a bomb is take off my clothes," he said.



Tiffany Callicutt is a nutjob. That you know. Weeks after she was jailed for pretending she and a Memphis police officer are a couple, she was arrested and charged with stalking. Girl!





Anthony Hensley, 37, who was working for a company hired to keep geese away from a Chicago apartment building drowned Saturday after he fell into a pond when a swan used to keep the geese attacked him.





Are those illegal checks in your pocket or are you happy to see me? They are illegal checks. According to police, Marc Sainte Juste, 45, arrived in Fort Lauderdale on a flight from Haiti. During a secondary examination by US Customs, the agent noticed a bulge in Marc's right front pants pocket. The agent asked the ask the man to remove the object, which turned out to be an envelope. When he was asked to turn over the envelope, Marc began to eat the contents -- which turned out to be more than $66,000 in tax refund checks made out to 10 different people. During questioning he said that he was given the checks from individuals in Haiti and instructed to turn them over to someone at the airport. According to the arrest report, Sainte Juste said he was supposed to get 25 percent of the money for transporting to Ft Lauderdale. He was arrested and charged with 10 counts of identity theft.

WATCH: Man Robs Store With Hot Dog Tongs + Couple Gets Married at IKEA

Poor Renee Jackson. The 35-year-old says his wife doesn't appreciated him, so instead of talking about it, he held up a convenience store with hot dog tongs so he can go to jail. He succeeded.


Mother of the Year Monetta Davis is facing endangering the welfare of a minor after she left her her 9-month-old son alone in her car in the parking lot so she can go gamble. She's a teacher in Memphis, so this is not shocking. At all.





Renters who are living in a home in Toms River, NJ want out of the lease because, they say, the house is haunted.





↪ A couple fell in love in a IKEA in College Park, Md. exactly two years ago. So why not get married in the the store's restaurant?

Drunk Calls 911 to Proclaim His Love For His Son, Jesus Christ

Well, of course, he was drunk. This did happen in Florida, after all.

A homeless man was arrested for calling 9-1-1 several times, telling a dispatcher he was proclaiming the love of his son, "Jesus," a recording revealed. David McGuirk, 41, called Volusia County sheriff's dispatchers at least eight times at 7:41 p.m. Saturday, a DeLand police report shows. McGuirk, charged with misuse of a wireless 9-1-1 system, called dispatchers to complain about DeLand police harassing him, the report states. In one of the calls, McGuirk tells a dispatcher he is professing the love of Jesus. "Now, how is me calling 9-1-1 and trying to proclaim the love of Jesus ... going to allow me to be arrested for abuse," McGuirk said, "when all I want to do is proclaim the love of my son, Jesus." McGuirk was located on Howry Avenue, and when DeLand police asked dispatchers to call the number used to call 9-1-1, McGuirk's phone rang, police said. McGuirk was found drinking a beer, police said. He was released Sunday from the Volusia County Branch Jail on time served, a booking officer said.

source: News-Journal

Does his son Jesus live in Massachusetts?

Sidebar: This is the 911 call.

WATCH: Cops: Hello, Your Daughter is Dead....Oh, Wait! Our Bad + Straight Boy Wants to Be Prom Queen

In Memphis, cops called Latisha Boddie's parents last weekend to tell them she was stabbed to death. They even released her photo to the media, which immediately began reporting the details of her tragic demise. But Latisha was very much alive. "My sister had called me and said to me, 'Mom said you died,'" she said. "I'm like, huh? I'm here lying on the couch, and I called my mom and all my family had already gotten together and called the funeral home to come get my body from the morgue." Uh oh.




Convenience store owner Taquanda Shanti Baker said she was behind the counter when a teenager, 16-year-old Quintavius Antonio Moore, entered and pointed a gun at her. She pulled out a pistol and shot him dead. She pleaded self defense. But after doing some police work, cops realized she wasn't in the store at the time of the shooting and concocted the story to protect her baby daddy -- who was the only on the person in the store at the time the teen was killed.






Mother of the Year Shanique Shelton is facing endangering the welfare of a minor charges after she put her 5-year-old daughter out of the car to teach her a lesson.




Last week, Oprah's other BFF - Newark mayor Cory Booker risked his own safety to rescue a woman from a burning house. That woman, Zina Hodge is telling her story.




Meanwhile, on Tybee Island, Georgia, a stranger banged on a family's home to alert them of a fire.





↪ River Flanary, a 17-year-old at a high school in Tempe, Arizona is straight -- but he's not letting that stop him from snatching a crown at this Saturday's prom. He has a black dress picked out and he wants to be prom queen. BUT, while he's amassed the most votes, the school board disqualified him because he's not a girl. Quick! Someone call Al Sharpton. Oh, wait.

Drunk Lady Calls Police on the Police

Drunks are hilarious. Mallorie Faust called 911 when her ex-boyfriend refused to let her in his Scottsdale, Arizona apartment to retrieve her iPhone. When cops arrived, they sided with the ex-boyfriend and asked 24-year-old Mallorie (who urinated on the man's door mat and broke a sign) to leave. She then 911 to report the officers were rude to her. The officers on the scene were none too happy and arrested Mallorie, charging with with misuse of the 911 system.


source: KSAZ

Man Calls Police on Nymphomaniac

A German man met a lady and went back to her apartment to play hide the sausage. He probably wish he hadn't, because, as it turned out, the lady is a nympho and he couldn't keep up.

A desperate man in Munich fled onto a balcony and called police for protection after his insatiable companion on a one-night stand refused to let him leave her flat, police said on Thursday. The 43-year-old man had met a woman four years his senior in a bar in the southern German city on Monday and she took him back to her apartment for sex, a police spokesman said in a statement. "There they had sexual intercourse several times," the spokesman said. "When the 47-year-old wanted even more, her partner said no." The man then tried to leave the apartment but the woman prevented him from escaping and demanded he have sex with her again. "Because the 43-year-old saw no other alternative, he complied with the woman's wishes another few times so he could finally leave the apartment," the spokesman said. "But when she continued to refuse and demanded even more sex from him, he fled to the balcony and alerted the police." The woman "then tried to talk the dispatched officers into similar activity but was unsuccessful". She is now facing possible charges of sexual assault and illegal restraint.

source: The Local

This Man's Girlfriend Tried to Stab Him to Death, But He Can't Wait For Her to Leave Prison So He Can Marry Her

We won't even begin to, or try to understand this. Well at least these crazies won't be trying muck up someone else's life, so their reconciliation is a good thing.

Gregory Todd, a chef who almost died after being knifed by his girlfriend Tiffany Baillie says he will marry her as soon as she leaves the prison gates after a judge jailed her for three years. Todd, 48, left Hull Crown Court in tears today despite hearing his girlfriend had said: "Yes!" to his court room marriage proposal. Mr Todd almost died when Baillie, 32, plunged an 8in kitchen knife into his back as he slept. But he appeared at Hull Crown Court last week with a white gold diamond solitaire ring with the intention of proposing in court in an act of Easter forgiveness. He had to wait 24 hours to be told the marriage proposal, relayed by her barrister, had been accepted in a tearful telephone call from Newhall Prison to his home in Hessle which they shared. Baillie, 32, who had been depressed after a miscarriage has been forgiven by Mr Todd who spent three months in hospital recovering from a damaged pancreas and spleen after she attacked him two weeks after losing his baby. Speaking outside court Mr Todd said: "I hoped to give her the ring today, if she had got a suspended sentence. I asked the judge if I could give it to her in court, but he said no. The barrister took the ring to the cells and she tried it on. It fits. Now I have got the ring back but no Tiffany." Mr Todd had written an emotional letter to the judge which Judge Mettyear read out. He said: "She has made a big mistake that she will regret for the rest of her life. Please show compassion and allow her to prove what a valuable member of society she is and a mother to her son. She will have a husband, if you allow us to marry. I promise we won't let you down."

source: Telegraph

Cissy Houston Opposes Rihanna Playing Whitney Houston in Biopic: report

In the wake of superstar Whitney Houston's sudden death last February, there is talk of a biopic. Such a film, which is reportedly being pushed by Whitney's "industry father" Clive Davis, is years away from hitting a movie theatre near you, but in the past weeks there have been rumblings that Whitney's daughter Bobbi Kristina (who says she's the only "actress" who can deliver a believable performance), Jennifer Hudson, Vivica A Fox, Jordin Sparks or Miss Fenty vying to play the starring role. The chances of Miss Fenty getting the part is nil to none, but should producers decide to consider her, Whitney's mother, Cissy Houston, wants them to know she adamantly opposes the idea.

"Over my dead body!" declared the 78-year-old, according to a source. "Cissy believes Rihanna celebrates everything she hated about Whitney's life -- the drugging, the boxing, the abusive relationship," the source continued....."Cissy does not think Whitney should be represented by someone like Rihanna," said the source. "In spite of what anyone thought about Whitney, she sees her as a God-fearing Christian who loved the Lord." Cissy is also dead-set against a movie being made about Whitney without family involvement because she fears outsiders would focus too much on the negative aspects of her daughter's troubled life. Cissy said IF there is a movie made about Whitney, she would insist on approving the actress," added the source. "And Rihanna certainly would NOT be on the list."

source: National Enquirer, April 23, print edition

We think Meryl Streep should get the part.

In Other Whitney news: The Beverly Hills police department have closed their investigation into the death of the singer, whose final autopsy report was made public last week. "Based on the findings of our investigation and our review of the coroner's report, we have determined that this is not a criminal matter," the Beverly Hills police department said in a statement. "The BHPD investigation has been officially closed."


ALSO: With the case closed, police released the recording of the 911 emergency call in which a hotel security officer said the woman who called for help from Whitney's hotel room. Take a listen:

George Zimmerman Charged With Murder

After weeks of public outcry, George Zimmerman, the Florida man who shot and killed Trayvon Martin, has been charged with murder.

A special prosecutor in Florida charged neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman with second-degree murder on Wednesday in the shooting death of unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin, a move protesters had demanded for weeks in a racially charged case that has riveted the United States. Zimmerman, who had been in hiding, was under arrest at Florida's Seminole County jail after turning himself in, officials said. His new defense lawyer said he would plead not guilty and that a hearing to establish bail could come as soon as Thursday. Special prosecutor Angela Corey's decision to charge Zimmerman, who is white and Hispanic, came 45 days after the fatal shooting in a quiet gated community in the central Florida town of Sanford. Police had declined to arrest Zimmerman based on his account of self-defense and Florida's controversial "Stand Your Ground" law, setting off civil rights demonstrations across the country. "I can tell you we did not come to this decision lightly," Corey told a news conference in Jacksonville. "Let me emphasize that we do not prosecute by public pressure or by petition. We prosecute based on the facts of any given case as well as the laws of the state of Florida." Martin, 17, was on his way back to the home of his father's fiancee when Zimmerman spotted him and considered him suspicious, calling police and defying their advice to give up following the teenager. Zimmerman told police he was walking back to his truck when Martin attacked him, decking him with one punch to the nose. Martin then repeatedly slammed Zimmerman's head against a concrete walkway, Zimmerman's brother and father have said. Zimmerman then pulled out a 9mm handgun he was licensed to carry and shot Martin once in the chest. Witnesses heard screams for help and then a gunshot, sounds that were captured on 911 emergency calls by neighbors. It was unclear who was screaming. Martin's parents said they recognized the voice as their son's. But Zimmerman's brother Robert swore it was George Zimmerman pleading for help. The decision on whether to charge Zimmerman rested with Corey since she was appointed by Florida's governor on March 22. The firestorm of protests had forced Sanford's police chief to step aside and the regularly assigned prosecutor to remove himself from the case, leading to Corey's appointment. The disputed facts surrounding the shooting have been picked apart endlessly by television commentators, while dominating the headlines and reigniting a discussion about guns, self-defense laws and what it means to be black in America. By seeking second-degree murder rather than a lesser charge such as manslaughter, Corey reaffirmed her reputation as a prosecutor who will seek to bring the most serious charge possible. If convicted, Zimmerman could face a prison sentence of up to 25 years to life.

source: Reuters

The standards that need to be met to get a second-degree conviction are difficult to attain, so we can only imagine the treasure trove of evidence the prosecutor has in her arsenal. Then again, this is Florida. Remember "Totmom" Casey Anthony?

Baby Born Without Any Blood

Olivia Norton (pictured) is a miracle baby. The British toddler, who's now six months old, was born with no blood and was given less than two hours to live, but she survived -- thanks to emergency transfusions.

[Mom Louise Bearman] and her greengrocer partner Paul Norton, 36, of Witham, Essex, first noticed something was wrong when they didn't feel Olivia kicking for three days. They went to Broomfield Hospital, in Chelmsford, and when nurses failed to spot any movement after a 15 minute scan doctors ordered an emergency caesarean. Olivia was born six weeks early at 8.20pm on Saturday September 10, weighing 5lbs 3oz with her heartbeat dipping dangerously low. Haemoglobin is the protein which gives blood its characteristic red colour and ability to carry oxygen around the body. When Olivia was born she had haemoglobin levels of just three out of a normal level of 18, which meant the plasma in her blood could not be classified as proper blood. The newborn was rushed to the hospital's special care baby unit where she was monitored for two weeks and had her strength and colour restored with two blood transfusions. Neonatal nurse Sharon Pilgrim, yesterday said in 20 years in the job she had never heard of such low haemoglobin levels. She said: "It was a miracle she survived. She was incredibly pale when born and had difficulties breathing. "There was no sign of blood loss prior to the caesarean or during the operation. "It was only when we carried out further tests on Louise that we discovered the baby had lost blood directly into her mum's blood circulation." Louise added: "The hospital staff were amazing and called Olivia the 'miracle baby' and said if I hadn't come in she would not have survived. "Doctors still don't know why it happened, it is one of those freak things." "I want mums to realise how important a baby's movement is in checking they are healthy. You have to trust your maternal instinct."

source: Telegraph

Judge Throws Man in Jail For Showing His Butt in Courtroom

♪...Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.♪

A Prattville man was given a three-day jail sentence Tuesday for contempt of court after his wardrobe didn’t pass judicial muster. LaMarcus D. Ramsey, 20, was in Autauga County Circuit Court to enter a plea on a charge of receiving stolen property. Circuit Judge John Bush took exception to the fact that Ramsey’s blue jeans were sagging too low. The three-day stint will be served in the Autauga Metro jail. “You are in contempt of court because you showed your butt in court,” a visibly irate Bush told Ramsey. “You can spend three days in jail. When you get out you can buy pants that fit, or at least get a belt to hold up your pants so your underwear doesn’t show.”

source: Montgomery Advertiser

WATCH: Man Attacks Co-Worker With Chainsaw + McDonald's Worker Steals Customer's Credit Card

58-year-old Otis Upshaw has some serious anger issues. After getting into a fight with a co-worker, Otis pulled out a chainsaw and attempted to cut the man's throat. He missed, but almost severed four of the man's fingers.



Speaking of anger issues, Deryl Edward Young, who has been on the run since assaulting his wife and stomping on his 2-year-old son's head and face three or four times as he was lying prone on the floor in a hotel room, has been arrested.






Sulyvette Ortiz Fontanez, a 23-year-old mother of three who works at a McDonald's in Milwaukee was having trouble paying her mortgage, so she stole a customer's credit card and used it to buy food for her kids and keep her home out of foreclosure pay her cellphone bill.

Basketball Court Closed Due to Excessive Cursing

A basketball court located at Howland Township Park in Ohio has been shut down due to excessive cursing. Oh, the court is also near a children's playground. James Brutz, an attorney with the Howland Park Board, said his office was flooded with complaints, so officials had no choice but to padlock the court. "Because of the constant profane language coming out of the parks, it is right by Tiger Town, the restrooms, right by our walking paths," he said. "We were inundated with complaints, and frankly we had enough." According to officials, they have tried to address the problem in the past and asked those who are playing to obey the parks rules, but that didn't happen. So the basketball court is "indefinitely closed." The park's soccer, softball and tennis court will remain open.

source: WKBN

High School Student Refuses to Attend Her Graduation Ceremony at Bishop Eddie Long's Church

No, it's not because she's appalled that New Birth Missionary Baptist Church pastor Eddie Long is an "alleged" child molester, it's because she's not a Christian -- and goddarnit, she's going to take stand.

A Southwest DeKalb High School star student said she will not attend her own graduation because it's being held in a church. May 25 is when the senior class will have their graduation at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. Nahkoura Mahnassi, 16, and her mother, Alisha Brown, said it's a poor choice on the schools part because not everyone is a Christian and they feel like the ceremony should be held at the school or at a neutral venue like the Georgia Dome. Mahnassi is not your average student, either. "I'm in Beta Club, I'm in the magnet program, I'm pretty sure I'm in the top 10 percent at school and I was a star student," Mahnassi told Channel 2's Craig Lucie after he asked her to list her accomplishments. Mahnassi also has a 3.8 GPA and thanks her mother for teaching her to stand up for what she believes in. In this case, it's what she doesn't believe in and that's her school's decision to have their graduation ceremony at Eddie Long's New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. When her peers ask why, she tells them, "It's kind of a long story, but I don't like churches or New Birth so I'm not going." New Birth's Pastor, Eddie Long, was accused of sexual misconduct by four young men from the church, settling out of court last year. Mahnassi said her long story can be summarized down in part because she and her mother don't have a religious affiliation. "People don't all have the same views and that having it at one place where the major views are Christian, it's completely different for some people," explained Mahnassi. Brown said a church should not be used for the ceremony just because it's a big venue. "A church is a place you go to worship your God. I'm not a Christian. Church and state should be separated. That's what I heard so to have it at a church, especially at New Birth is a slap in the face," Brown said. Brown said she called her daughter's school to get more information. "They said, 'Well, it's just a building,' and of course I posed the question if it was a Satanist church I'm sure the Christians would be up in arms and say, 'No, no, no. We're not going to go there.' So it's not a matter of 'It's just a building.' That's totally not true," Brown told Lucie. Lucie contacted the DeKalb County School District and they sent this statement saying: "The school district is holding commencements this year at a number of locations throughout the community, including school district stadiums and the Georgia Dome. Each year, the school district looks to find spaces big enough to host our largest graduating classes. This year, Southwest DeKalb High School is holding its graduation at a faith-based organization in the community. This is based on a previous agreement that expires this year. We will continue to work to find the best and most appropriate venues to accommodate our students as they celebrate such an important milestone." Lucie also reached out to New Birth Baptist Missionary Church, but did not hear back.

source: WSB

Sidebar: These two look like sisters. (That's Nahkoura on the left.)

Bullied 8-year-old Girl Overdoses on Prescription Pills

This is just sad.

A central Ohio mother says her eight-year-old daughter overdosed on prescription pills after being bullied. Michelle Koch says her little girl had been subjected to harsh bullying at Dana Elementary School since last year. "She said kids were calling her fat and ugly," Koch said. "One girl called her a fat twinkie, and it really seemed to tear her up inside. It was really affecting her." Koch says her daughter eventually resorted to desperate measures to avoid the bullying. "My daughter took an overdose of her sister's meds because she didn't want to go to school," Koch said. "We spent hours in the ER at Children's at the trauma center." The little girl spent approximately a week in the hospital. Her family did not know if she'd make it out alive. "We almost lost her," Koch said. "She was that adamant about not going to school that she went to that extreme so she wouldn't have to go."...Koch says her daughter will not be returning to Dana Elementary. She says she's now concerned with other children who may be receiving similar treatment from bullies. "It just it really hurts. How many other kids are going through this? How many kids are gonna have to die before something is done?"

source: WSYX

WATCH: Sperm Donor Doesn't Have to Pay Child Support + Sweet Brown Reacts to Internet Fame

Professional bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman wanted to help his friend have a baby, so he donated his sperm to a California sperm bank and the lady gave birth to triplets -- then she sued him for child support. Even though he never agreed to be a parent, he was forced to pay her $5,000 in support, but an appellate court has ruled he shouldn't be paying that donkey any money. Now, will she be forced to repay him? This will only get more interesting. We'll stay on it.



Obviously, this lady who took off her clothes after she was caught smoking inside a terminal at Denver International Airport, is suffering from "exhaustion" and "dehydration"."





George Zimmerman, who shot an unarmed Florida teenager dead on Feb. 26, has gone rogue and his lawyers held a press conference this afternoon to reach out to him or drop his a client. Something is amiss.




Meanwhile, in Pontiac, Michigan, teacher Brooke Harris says she was fired from a her school for organizing a fundraiser in honor of slain Trayvon Martin.





Residents of a Kevin McCrary, who once appeared on "Hoarders", think it's time the show do a revisit.





Meanwhile in Queens, NY, residents say their neighborhood is overrun by squirrels.





Shock! That crazy Haitian lady is NOT the winner of the Mega Millions lottery in Maryland. Three local school teachers claimed their prize.






Frankie Forsh, who was mauled by three pit bulls near her home, has slapped the dog's owners and handler with a $1.25 million lawsuit.






This lady is one brazen thief. She walked into a Sam's Club in Daphne, Alabama and walked out with a 55-inch TV.





This happened in South Africa. This sort o stunt can definitely put you in a wheelchair -- or worse.





Anitra Hicks, 18, arrested and charged with a slew of charges in connection with throwing her newborn baby in the trash. She said she didn't hurt her baby and didn't even know she was pregnant. Her mother, Patricia, says: "She gave birth to her baby and she thought she was having a bowel movement. The baby came out in the toilet. She didn't know she was pregnant. We didn't know she was pregnant." So, why didn't someone call 911?





The case against four men who attacked a gay man in Atlanta is still on the docket. Brandon White is also denying reports he knew his attackers and was threatening to out one of them.





↪ Meet Sweet Brown. The Oklahoma City eyewitness to a fire that left her homeless is famous. Since the video below has gone viral, the local TV caught up Sweet to get her reaction to her new-found fame. She says: “I’ve been shown it, but I don’t like looking at it because I don’t like looking at myself like that because I look like a joke and I was really serious!”