Week in Review: Sir, Your Mugshot Is Giving Us Convulsions

Hello, boys and girls. Have a great weekend! We'll be back Monday afternoon.

While we're away, if you have a tip about a story or something we should look into, post or get a chuckle from, please direct it here.

Here are some of the week's lowlights (and some highlights, too).

1. The week began with a man found wandering the streets in nothing but a football jersey, a g-string and hair scrunchie around his balls....
2. Beyoncè was slapped with a $107 million lawsuit.
3. We gagged when we saw THE MOST BIPOLAR MUGSHOT EVER.
4. A judge ruled that the producers of Lil Wayne's documentary can sue the rapper for failing to promote the film.
5. Miami Dolphin's star Brandon Marshall and his wife were fighting again. This time she stabbed him in the gut then called police to "come quick" then hung up.
6. Bravo has greenlit a spin-off series for NeNe Leakes and another of her "Real Housewives of Atlanta" co-star.
7. Bishop Eddie Long has settled the gay sexual assault cases and he didn't go down without taking jabs at his accusers.
8. The transgender woman who was beatdown at a McDonald's spoke out about what really happened that night.
9. A horrifying mile-wide tornado demolished parts of Alabama, killing dozens.
10. President Obama finally released his long form birth certificate.
11. Speaking of the president, his father's immigration files were released and they showed that he was a polygamist and officials wanted him of the United States.
12. After getting busted for possession of weed, Antoine Dodson made a dramatic appearance in court.
13. Two men stole $90,000 worth of hair weave.
14. A man stole bottles of liquor by stuffing them down his pants.
15. Buying knockoff designer purses in NYC could land you in jail for one year.
16. Man decided the best way to teach his wife how to be a better wife was to rape her, punch her in the face till she passed out and when she came to, he forced her to give him a professional.
17. Man walked into a drug store and made a beeline to the cough drop aisle, where he proceeded to take a piss on all of the cough drops.
18. A woman stole her mother's identify to get a boob job.
19. A woman quit her job so she could fly to London to watch the royal wedding in person.
20. Speaking of the royal wedding, Prince William and Kate Middleton were married -- we can all get back to what's really important in the world.
21. A man was found walking on a busy interstate in the rain. When cops asked him where he was going, he told them he was taking the almost four-hour trek to "kick his father's ass" for not having sex with his mother.
22. A man was sent to jail for a month for spanking a rude child.
23. A woman called 911 because he son was coughing, the dispatcher told her an ambulance would be there in several hours.
24. A police officer punched a woman in the face.
25. An attorney had sex with a client in exchange for legal representation.
26. A woman was awarded $1 million after her son's body was fed to pigs.
27. A grown-ass man who still lived at home sued his parents for a monthly allowance.
28. A former Miss USA said she was molested by a TSA agent.
29. A man sued a plastic surgeon after his wife died on the operating table while getting cheap butt implants.
30. Several children were found in a filthy house of horrors -- there was human feces on every wall, every floor and every piece of furniture and fixture. Their mother was arrested.
31. A homeless man robbed a bank then gave the money away.
32. Man attacked several parked cars.
33. Thief had an epic faceplant while trying to run away with stolen beer.
34. San Francisco is considering banning male circumcision and jailing offenders.
35. Prison guards got into a fistfight over a bag of potato chips.
36. A police officer has been called a racist after he photoshopped a black man's mugshot then e-mailed it to colleagues.