Pets Are Better Than Kids Because...

We largely agree with this person, but we take issue with #6. We know of cats and dogs who live and fraternize with "drug-using people.... Read more »

Man Attacked by Rats in Dollar Store

A man from Philadelphia has filed a $50,000 lawsuit against a Dollar Tree store after he claims he suffered post-traumatic stress disorder w... Read more »

WATCH: Congressman Goes Batshit Crazy

Babies can be terrors, but have you ever heard about "terror babies"? Apparently, they're babies born to immigrants in the US ... Read more »

Woman Beats Elderly Boyfriend With Trophy

Donna Reed is...well, we want to say she's a gold digger, but that would be too kind. Police say she beat down her 69-year-old boyfriend... Read more »

Woman Tries to Deposit Cocaine into Bank Account

A Wethersfield, Conn. woman was arrested yesterday afternoon after she handed a bank teller an envelope containing cocaine. True story. Acco... Read more »

WATCH: Security Guards Tackle, Choke Deaf Man Suspected of Shoplifting

This video is so upsetting. It shows security guards at the Forever 21 store on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles tackling and choking a de... Read more »

Man Attacks Woman With a Bucket of Crap

A Seattle woman, who has had a history of disputes with a neighbor, says the man threw a bucket of human feces, urine and vomit on her last ... Read more »

Mom Gave 11-year-old Son Sex Toy, Photos of Naked Women

Police in Scottsdale, Penn. arrested 29-year-old Rebecca Murphy (pictured) after she gave her 11-year-old son a sex toy. The boy's fathe... Read more »

Deadbeat Dad Jumps From Building to Avoid Paying Child Support

Thirty-five-year-old Ronald "Boobie" McIntyre of Chicago is what you may call a sad human being or a dead beat dad. Take your pick... Read more »

White Couple Refused to Sell Home to Black Comedian

The Department of Housing and Urban Development has filed a charge of housing discrimination against Adrienne Sabbia and their real estate a... Read more »

Couple Has Sex on Public Beach as Spectators Cheer, Parents Jeer

Tourists trying to beat the heat on a beach in Macedonia (a small country in southeastern Europe) recently, were horrified when a man and a ... Read more »

Female Cop Shoots Girlfriend During Fight Over Text Message From Another Woman

An off-duty NYC police officer was charged with assault after shooting her girlfriend early Monday morning during a drag out brawl which eru... Read more »

WATCH: Chaos Breaks Out in Georgia as Thousands Battle for Public Housing Vouchers

Almost 30,000 people have been lining up in East Point, Ga. since Monday hoping to get on the waiting list for public housing. But here'... Read more »

Woman Kicked Off Bus For Breastfeeding

A woman was forced to walk a mile home after a bus driver kicked her off a public bus because she was breastfeeding her six-week-old baby. L... Read more »

Woman Allows 5-Year-Old Son to Beat Disabled Grandmother

Jessica Hatcher of Jackson County, W.Va. is an awful person. She allowed her 5-year-old son to assault his disabled grandmother who just out... Read more »

Woman Sues Disney, Claims Donald Duck Sexually Assaulted Her

April Magolon of Pennsylvania is suing Walt Disney World for negligence, battery, and infliction of emotional distress and is seeking more t... Read more »

Fantasia Barrino Hospitalized After Drug Overdose

Diabolical homewrecker Fantasia Barrino was hospitalized last night after a medication overdose, reports WCNC News. Barrino was taken to Car... Read more »

Oh, Chute! Flight Attendant Tells Passengers to Suck it, Then Quits Like a True Diva Would

Thirty-nine-year-old flight attendant Steven Slater is not having any of your shit. He will not -- and we repeat, will not -- be disrespecte... Read more »

Man Caught Having Sex with Mannequin

A 61-year-old man from Belle, W.Va was arrested and charged with indecent exposure after he was caught around 9am Sunday sitting on a park b... Read more »

Quick, Someone Call Will Smith

The aliens are coming! Run for your lives! Seriously though, this scared the crap out of us, so we can only imagine the horror these beachgo... Read more »

Mel Gibson's Father: The Pope is Gay

Last weekend, Hutton Gibson, the 91-year-old father of crazy Mel Gibson gave an interview to the Political Cesspool Radio Program where he s... Read more »

WATCH: Tickle My Vagina

After a woman declared herself to be queen of the lesbians , this woman responds by declaring herself to be the "queen of promiscuous... Read more »

Wife: Fantasia Barrino Made Sex Tapes With My Husband, Cursed Me Out Over the Phone

Several months ago, we told you that Paula Cook, the wife of Fantasia Barrino's jumpoff, Antwuan, was considering filing a lawsuit again... Read more »

WATCH: Deer Steals Man's Wife

In the immortal words of Antoine , hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your husband, cause they be rapin' e'erybody out here. Read more »

Inmates Sue Jail Because It Doesn't Live Up to Their High Standards

By far, this is the most absurd story we're read all week. According to reports, three criminals at the Camden County jail in Georgia ha... Read more »

What Are Queen Latifah and Longtime Girlfriend, Jeannete, Trying to Tell Us in These Photos?

That they're in love, duh! Queen Latifah has pussyfooted around the issue of her sexual orientation for years [granted, it's no one... Read more »

Man to Pregnant Girlfriend: 'Let Me Kick Your Stomach or I Will Kick You in Your Face'

25-year-old James Darrell Burden of Jacksonville, Fla. was charged with aggravated battery against a pregnant woman on Monday after he punch... Read more »

Man Stabbed 23 Times and Survived

In June, two men broke into the Perry County, Tenn. home of 63-year-old JD Landers hoping to steal money. When he told them he had none, the... Read more »

Drunk, Pregnant Crackhead Commits Armed Robbery

Crackhead Julie Bailey, 38, of La Crosse, Wisc. was arrested Tuesday night after she and her roommate tried to rob a Taco John's with a ... Read more »

Model Puts the 'Banana' in Banana Republic

Banana Republic sure knows how to sell "tailored herringbone" suit pants. Don't they? In fact, we're so impressed that we... Read more »

Man Mutilates His Grandmother, Eats Her Alive

Sergei Zhmaryov, who lives in the Ukraine, used a shard of broken mirror to gouge out his 60-year-old grandmother's eyeballs before eati... Read more »

Woman Kicked Off Plane After Accusing Pilot of Drinking

Cynthia Angel, 51, of Southern California said back on July 19 she was kicked off a Delta Air Lines flight in Atlanta because she reported t... Read more »

Naomi Campbell: I Received Some 'Dirty-Looking Stones,' So I Gave Them Away

Despite her reluctance to testify at the war crimes trial of former Liberian ruler Charles Taylor, super-supermodel Naomi Campbell grabbed s... Read more »

Anyone Want to Adopt Adolf Hitler?

Heath and Deborah Campbell, a white supremacist couple from New Jersey, have lost custody of their three children after a court found eviden... Read more »

Lesbians, Meet Your Queen

We smell a Grammy -- or at least an AMA. Or, are we just smelling fish? We know you want 'em, so here are the lyrics: Girls come and see... Read more »

WATCH: Playing in Traffic is Hazardous to Your Health!

This is the funniest video ever! Honestly, we can watch this all day long while we devour pints of ice cream and sorbet. Read more »

Same-Sex Marriage is Legal in California, Again

The Gays won a major victory today in California. Chief US District Judge Vaughn Walker declared that Proposition 8, which banned same-sex m... Read more »

Please, Someone Help This Girl

This photo of former singer Amy Winehouse was taken at 9:30am Tuesday after she spent - count 'em -- 16 HOURS drinking! According to the... Read more »

Woman Says NFLer Brett Favre Sexted Her Lewd Photos of Him Choking His Chicken

Yesterday it was reported that Brett Farve will retire from the NFL (for real this time) after 19 years because of a lingering ankle injury.... Read more »

Wyclef Jean Announces Candidacy for President of Haiti

Wyclef Jean (real name Nel Wyclef Jean) is arguably Haiti's most famous son. After weeks of speculation, he has announced that he will, ... Read more »

Man Stabs Roommate to Death, Drinks Victim's Blood

Last Sunday, Mauricio Lopez, 42, stabbed his roommate (Macario Luna Cruz, 32) to death in Bartow, Fla. After the killing, Mauricio drank Mac... Read more »

WATCH: Man Attacks Pregnant Girlfriend, Cops

This is your brain on drugs. Michael Bolding of Wickliffe, Ohio was arrested last weekend after beating down his girlfriend, who is seven mo... Read more »

Young Buck Doesn't Pay Taxes, Home Gets Raided by Armed IRS Agents

The home of rapper Young Buck was raided Tuesday in Hendersonville, Tennessee by armed Internal Revenue Service agents. According to the rap... Read more »

Basil Marceaux: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Basil Marceaux is crazy. And we love it! In his first video , the Republican gubernatorial candidate in Tennessee laid out his campaign prom... Read more »

WATCH: The Peckham Terminator

There are a few things going on this video (taken from a bus in Peckham, England) that we don't have the answer to. Firstly, WHAT THE FU... Read more »

Man Kills 17-Month-Old Boy for Acting Like a Girl

Police on Long Island, NY have arrested 20-year-old Pedro Jones and charged him with first-degree manslaughter after he killed a 17-month-ol... Read more »

Man Stabs Woman to Death During Bible Study

19-year-old Randy Torres of Dallas man was charged with murder after he invited his neighbor, 55-year-old Cathy Mars Wilder, over to his hom... Read more »

WATCH: French Police Attack Female Immigrants

If Arizona Governor Jan Brewer and her cabinet have their way, this is how they will deal with illegal immigrants in that state. In France, ... Read more »

Kathy Griffin Goes In on Elisabeth Hasselbeck

A few weeks ago, comedian Kathy Griffin referred to Republican senator Scott Brown's daughters as prostitutes. Obviously she was joking,... Read more »

Man Kills Family Dog Because He Believe it Was Possessed by the Devil

Why is 25-year-old Matthew O. Foote cheesing in his mugshot? Perhaps you can tell us. The New Jersey resident has been charged with third-de... Read more »