The Weekend is Brought to You By This Disagreeable Knitter on the NYC Subway

It's the weekend and spring is in the air. While we try to figure out where to find this ↑↑↑ lady who claims she paid two fares on the NYC subway -- one for her and one for her crochet needles and yarn -- catch up on what you might have missed this week:

1. Lots of pregnant women this week: This pregnant woman almost broke the Internet. While another pregnant woman was carjacked while on her way to give birth and a pregnant was kicked in the stomach and choked because she wasn't courteous.
2. Nick Gordon and the woman we believe was playing the role of his mother, gave an epic, award-winning performance on Dr Phil.
3. A garbage man was sentenced to 30 days in jails because he collected garbage too early.
4. A jury awarded Marvin Gaye's family millions of dollars after finding Pharrell and Robin Thicke plagiarized for Blurred Lines. The the family announced they might be filling another lawsuit against Pharrell for plagiarizing another one of Marvin's songs for Happy.
5. The state of New York swooped down on a bar co-owned by convicted felon and reality star Big Ang and shut it down because Big Ang is a convicted felon.
6. The tran who illegally injected illegal silicone into a British student's butt and killed her, was found guilty of murder. Then the deluded and crazy letters she wrote from behind bars were released.
7. Speaking of transgender women, Project Runway mentor Tim Gunn said they shouldn't be allowed to work as models because they're men and men have hips.
8. A criminal wanted to stop police from arrested him, so he rolled around in dog feces.
9. On the subject of filthy. A man has been pooping on and inside parked cars in Ohio for two years now.
10. A man created a scene inside a McDonald's and claimed the Happy Meals are racist.
11. A couple was arrested after their 5 kids was found living in filth and the body of their dead grandfather.
12. A gay man who knowingly infected an ex-boyfriend with HIV pleaded no contest and is practically getting away scot-free.
13. A TV host was fired after he compared Michelle Obama to characters on Planet of the Apes.
14. Calf liposuction is actually a thing and women are having the surgery so they fit their fat calves into boots.
15. A police officer put his own father in jail after an argument.
16. Lil Wayne was the latest victim of "swatting" and it was broadcast live on TV.
17. A 24-year-old man pleaded guilty to raping a 91-year-old woman.
18. Kathy Griffin quit or was fired from Fashion Police.
19. The FDA is set to approve an injection that melts away double-chin fat.
20. A woman whose 2-year-old daughter tried to run away from home was gave resting b*tch face in her mugshots and she gave zero f*cks. And another family gave zero f*cks when their 2-year-old toddler walked across a busy street in the middle of the night with to a gas station looking for candy.
21. Megachurch pastor Creflo Dollar is looking for idiots to donate $65 million for him to buy a private jet.
22. And in Florida a man stole $313 worth of condoms from a CVS, a lady (maybe a lady) got naked at Dunkin Donuts, and a drunk man with a machete on a bicycle tried to attack a man on a lawnmower.
23. A man is barred from smoking inside his own home because his next door neighbors complained.
24. Surgeons successfully performed the world's first penis transplant.
25. A "reality" show star finally confirmed what everyone knows: "Reality" shows are scripted and fake.
26. Ecstasy, crystal meth and a host of other drugs were legal in Ireland for one day.
27. A teacher bashed a 13-year-old boy's face into a desk and broke his teeth.
28. Someone lost their prosthetic eye at a gym.
29. Suge Knight is invoking the stand-your-ground defense.
30. And finally, the most awesomest ever thing happened on the Valentino runway.