Week in Review: Bishop Eddie Long's Mistress, Granny Batting 1.000

Hey, boys and girls. Make it a fantastic weekend. We'll be back here Tuesday afternoon. Sure hope you'll he here, too.

While we're away, if you have a tip about a story or something we should look into, post or get a chuckle from, please direct it here.

Here are some of the week's lowlights (and some highlights, too).

1. Bishop Eddie Long was quick to settle the sexual misconduct lawsuits out of court after a fifth accuser -- a tranny! -- sashayed her way into the mix.
2. Not to be outdone, Bishop Long's daughter got herself in some trouble of her own.
3. While on the topic of preachers, a Dallas pastor says a swingers sex club and a nightclub that serves booze and illegal drugs to teenagers are churches. Cops and the district attorney disagree.
4. A police officer who said he was forced to attend the Martin Luther King Jr parade because he's black has filed suit.
5. Grandma Bonnie is armed and dangerous! She's not taking sh-t for anyone -- that includes you, naked intruder!
6. The most story of the week went to the woman who attached a 4-month-old baby in a stroller and tried to break off his arm SO SHE COULD EAT IT!
7. Janet Jackson is engaged to her billionaire boyfriend, they say.
8. Singer Amy Winehouse kicked the bucket.
9. You can take as many AP and honors classes as you can muster and have the highest GPA, but you will never be valedictorian at a high school in Arkansas if you're black.
10. After spending 21 hours in a morgue fridge, a dead man woke up and scared the life out of the mortuary staff.
11. A man who hangs out in Times Square begging for money to buy weed, has sued NYC for harassment.
12. A man attempted hernia surgery on himself with a butter knife.
13. Woman cheated on husband. Contracted herpes. Sued jumpoff for giving her herpes. Wait, what?
14. Meanwhile, a man who served jail time for infecting a pregnant woman with HIV in 1999 was charged with infecting a second woman (his pregnant wife) with the disease.
15. And, of course, we watch a gaggle of videos. Like these. And these...
16. ...But, by far, this was the best video of the week.

Fisherman Finds Brick of Cocaine Floating in Water, Dies After Eating It

Last Wednesday, 53-year-old Thomas Swindal and his brother Kenneth were fishing in about 200 feet of water off the Florida Keys when they spotted a wrapped brick of something floating near the boat.

The brothers snagged it, decided it was probably cocaine, and tossed it into the boat’s live bait well. Kenneth Swindal told deputies they talked about what to do with their find, but went back to fishing without making a decision. Apparently, Thomas Swindal made his own call, in retrospect a bad one. His brother said he looked back and saw Thomas open the brick and eat some of what was inside. That’s when things got weird. Kenneth said within a half hour, Thomas went nuts. He started tearing around the small boat, tossing things like a cellphone and a radio into the drink. Then, he attacked the engine with pliers and a knife, prying the cover off and letting it fall into the water. Grabbing a gaff, a big pole for snagging fish, he stabbed the engine with it, causing so much damage it wouldn’t start. Kenneth Swindal was left with a crazy man on the boat, no way to get to shore, and no way to call for help. He told Monroe detective Mark Maison he tossed every sharp object off the boat, and then climbed up top to yell for help. A nearby boater heard his hail, and called the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation commission, which rescued the two brothers from the boat and got Thomas Swindal to paramedics.
source: CBS4

Suffice it to say, Thomas didn't make it. Since a panicked Kenneth tossed the brick of cocaine back into the water, the medical examiner is conducting an autopsy to determine what exactly killed Thomas.

UPDATE, Aug 2: In related news: 15,000 pounds of cocaine, worth more than $180 million, seized from a drug submarine off the Caribbean coast of Honduras was offloaded in Miami Tuesday morning. The fiberglass craft, known as a self-propelled semi-submersible sank during the interdiction but an FBI dive team recovered the drugs on board after the Coast Guard found the sunken vessel last week.



UPDATE, Aug 3: A man jogging on a beach in Galveston, Texas found a burlap bag containing 25 bricks cocaine worth about $2 million.

Man Charged With Infecting Second Woman With HIV

A Chattanooga, Tenn. man is facing charges of criminal exposure to HIV after it was discovered he infected his wife with the virus that causes AIDS. According to reports, 46-year-old James Hutchins met the woman in 2005 online and they were married about a year later. Despite his wife's instance that she's not been unfaithful during the course of her marriage, laboratory tests confirmed that she is HIV-positive -- and pregnant. She said after she found out about the results confronted with them last month, he left. So, she went to police. In 1999, James served six months in prison (and placed on five years probation) after he was found guilty of infecting another woman with HIV. She, too, found about her status when she went for a pregnancy test. If he's found guilty of this newest charge, which he probably will, James faces between three to six years in prison.



source: WRCB

Daughter Kicks Out Elderly Parents to Make Room For Her 11 Dogs

You've heard about animal hoarding and crazy people, but chances are you've never anything like this. A woman from St. Petersburg, Russia kicked her 70-year-old parents out of their apartment a year ago to make room for her 11 dogs. According to reports, the case when to court and a judge ordered the daughter to let her parents back home, but when police arrived to enforce the order and remove the dogs, things got out of hand. Police had found a home for the dogs and then informed the woman of the specific date and time of their arrival to take the dogs, but she told them she'll have "a surprise" waiting for them. She sure did. "First, the woman locked herself in a room with the pets, barricading the door with boxes, wardrobes and other things," police said. It took officer more than three hours to get inside the apartment, with the woman throwing glasses and dishes at them from the windows and then spraying tear gas in a hole between doors. The dogs put up resistance too, one of them biting an officer on the shin. Eventually the men managed to get the woman handcuffed and taken to jail. The rabid dogs were given sleeping pills and taken away and the elderly parents were moved back in. Cuckoo!

source: RIA NOVOSTI

Janet Jackson, Wissam Al Mana Are Engaged (UPDATE: They're Married)

After almost two years of dating, Janet Jackson and her billionaire boyfriend, 36-year-old Qatar-born businessman Wissam Al Mana, are engaged -- and they're planning on having a baby, according to the National Enquirer. Wissam reportedly gave Janet a 15-carat diamond engagement ring last fall, but he's "shopping for an even bigger diamond ring to celebrate their official engagement" which will come by summer's end. The wedding is supposedly going to happen by the end of the year. Janet and Wissam met in December 2009, months after she official announced the end of her 8-year-old relationship with Jermaine Dupri. If this report is true -- and we have no reason to believe it isn't -- this will be Janet's third marriage. In 1984, she and singer James DeBarge tied the knot. That marriage was annulled a few months later. Then, in 1991 she married long-term friend—dancer, songwriter and director René Elizondo, Jr. They divorced in 2000. Wait! The report goes on to say that the couple is "anxious" to start a family, but because of Janet's age (she's 45), the prospects of her having a natural pregnancy are small, so they're considering adoption.

Sidebar: Wissam is a giant step up from Jermaine, who's thisclose to being in the poor house. Wissam and his two brothers oversee Al Mana Group, a company that works with more than 50 companies in the Gulf region and has interests in real estate, automobile distribution, engineering, construction, retail, food services and media. Hence, the billions in his bank accounts. Ka-ching!!!


source: National Enquirer, Aug. 8, print edition.


UPDATE, Feb. 25, 2013: Almost two years after this original report, Janet and Wissam Al Mana confirmed today they are married. They were married in 2012 in "in a quiet, private, and beautiful ceremony." The Enquirer wins. Again. In lieu of wedding gifts, they donated monies to their favorite children's charities.

Police Officer Forced to Attend MLK Parade Because He's Black Sues Police Department, City

Captain Walter Busby, a 30-year member of the Tulsa, Okla. police department, says he was ordered to attend the Martin Luther King, Jr. parade in 2010 because he's black and now he's sued his major, the police chief and the City of Tulsa claiming his civil rights was violated. True story. According to the suit, Captain Busby says he was ordered by Major Walter Evans to attend the parade, even though he didn't want to and felt his participation would give the impression he agrees with how the department treats African American citizens. He says Major Evans told him, "the fact that we both share the same race as Dr. King and that the parade is held in the African American community is consequential." Captain Busby then says he asked for the day off, but Major Evans refused, so he attended the parade as ordered -- under protest. Some time later, he filed a complaint with the City's human relations department, but he says he was assigned an undesirable shift and given his worst job evaluation since his time on the job. It's unclear how much money he's suing for. Here's an interesting fact: Captain Busby is vice president of the city's MLK Commemoration Society, which plans the MLK Day parade. Look down, Busby!


source: NEWSON6

Just When You Thought the Bishop Eddie Long Story Couldn't Get Worse, A Fifth Accuser Surfaces

Bishop Eddie Long has been keeping something from his parishioners. No, not the fact that he's gay, he's a homo and he likes guys. Something else. Last year, four men sued the popular Atlanta megachurch pastor claiming he lavished them with money, trips and gifts, while having sexual contact with them when they were young boys. Despite professing his innocence, the case soon went to mediation and a settlement was announce last May -- but, sometime during the mediation talks, a fifth accuser came forward looking for a handout, too. He didn't sue the bishop and his identity was kept secret -- until now. He's identified as Centino Kemp, a 22-year-old tranny and aspiring singer who has a tattoo of Eddie Long's name (followed by the words “Never a Mistake, Always a Lesson”) on his wrist!!! According to MyFoxAtlanta, which spent two months tracking him down, Centino (who's from The Bahamas and sometimes calls himself "Centinio") met Bishop Long years ago during a visit to New Birth Baptist Church while he was a student at a Florida college. One thing led to another and, well, you know, Bishop Long was soon long strokin' him. Are we shocked about this? Not one bit. In fact, we're all but certain there are more young men who were victims of Bishop Long. But, hey, we're glad to see that Centino (who we absolutely believe is using this a PR ploy to get a music career going) seems to be putting some of that settlement money to good use, unlike Jamal Parris.

FYU: Centino. Girl, unless you're going to a funeral or a prom (or the president), no one travels in a stretch limousine anymore. You're welcome.

Update, July 28: In part 2 of the investigation, Fox5 trolled Centino's Facebook page and found that he was posting cryptic messages, but no one knew what he was writing about -- until now. The final settlement talks took place during the week of April 17 and on April 20, Centino wrote, “Today may change my life forever,” and “Mother I’m sorry.” His Facebook page for that day shows he said he was at the Colony Square Starbucks, located in the same building as the young men's attorney, BJ Bernstein. Then, an hour later, he posted that he was at the DeKalb County Courthouse, where the settlement talks took place. When the money was delivered to Centino and the other accusers in late May, he posted on Facebook page, "I may be bad but I got paid perfectly good for it."




source: MY FOX ATLANTA

Lady Sues Jumpoff For Giving Her Herpes

An unnamed 33-year-old woman from Delavan, Wisc. has slapped a 35-year-old man, with whom she had a one-night stand with a $350,000 claiming he knowingly exposed her to herpes. The lawsuit says the man and woman were each married to other people when they began flirting in 2009. The woman says the two spent a day together in January 2010, culminating in sexual activity in the man's pickup truck.

The two spent the day together in Madison in January 2010. When they returned to Janesville, the man initiated physical contact by holding hands, which advanced to kissing in is pickup truck and escalated to sexual activity. The man knew the risk of transmitting the disease, making him responsible for personal injury, intentional infection, emotional distress and assault and battery, the woman alleges in the lawsuit. Symptoms of herpes include muscle ache, fever, fatigue, intense itching, redness and sores in genital regions. In May 2011, she asked Janesville police to arrest the man. The man has denied giving the woman herpes. He has told her to check with her other partners. The woman said her only partners were the man and her husband of nearly eight years. During a February 2011 telephone conversation, the man told the woman’s husband that he does not take medications to treat his herpes, according to the lawsuit. Medications could potentially have lowered the risk of transmitting the disease. The woman contends she has experienced panic attacks while driving with her spouse and children. Her spouse is reluctant to have normal sexual relations because of her diagnosis, she wrote.
source: JANESVILLE GAZETTE

While we could go off on this woman, we're gonna keep it tame because we don't know why she was cheating on her husband. But, who knows. Maybe she's get paid. In 2009, a jury awarded a woman almost $7 million after she sued her jumpoff for giving her herpes. So, at least these ladies chose to fight the matter in a court (albeit, civil court) and not take matters into their own hands, like this lady did.

Lady Attacks Baby, Tries to Break Off His Arm So She Could Eat It

We've seen and heard our share of crazy (see Exhibit No. 65,698,165), but this story is just something else. The Los Angeles police say Natasha Hubbard, 36, snatched a 4-month-old boy from his stroller and slammed him into the metal railing of a truck because she wanted to eat his arm. True story.

Adriana Miranda, 29, was pushing her 4-month-old son in a stroller [in Downtown LA on July 21 around 1pm] when Hubbard allegedly reached into the stroller, unbelted the infant and swung him overhead, police said. She then slammed him into the metal rail of a nearby truck. Police said the mother and her sister tried to fight the woman off. Miranda was eventually able to grab her baby, but Hubbard allegedly kept trying to fight, scratching at her while Miranda held the baby in her arms. Police said the mother and aunt ran into a nearby store for help as Hubbard ran away, but the store owner pushed them back out onto the street. Officers were able to find Hubbard after witnesses pointed her out. She was charged with aggravated assault and bail was set at $30,000. She is on probation in two separate cases, one for narcotics and another for battery. Her prior arrests also include aggravated assault and carrying dangerous weapons. Vernon said Hubbard told detectives at the police station that she tried to break off the baby’s arm so she could eat it. The baby was treated for minor bruises and scratches.
source: LA TIMES

Girl, if you're hungry, there are food pantries available or you can panhandle or offer to give someone a professional to buy some food. There's no need for this. Police believe there may be other victims and is asking anyone who's arm was chewed off or assaulted by a crazy woman -- wait, that is a woman, right? -- to come forward.

Bat-Wieldin' Granny Chases Off Naked Burglar

Early Sunday morning, a man broke into a Manchester, NH home through a kitchen window, went to the refrigerator, made himself a snack, and made his way to the bathroom to take off all of his clothes. As he was walking up the stairs to the second floor where a 21-year-old man was sleeping, the 70-year-old homeowner known as "Bonnie" awoke (cause you know the old people are light sleepers) and sprung into action. “When I got into the hallway, this man is standing there butt naked and I’m saying, ‘Who are you? How did you get here? Get out of my house! Get out of my house!’ He wouldn’t leave. He just stood there,” Bonnie, who walks with a cane, said. "When I got the bat, he turned and he ran. Then I got downstairs and he sort of launched at me and I was like, ‘Oh no you don’t! Not in my home!’ and that’s when I hit him with the bat." Bonnie said she aimed at "vital areas" and connected with a solid impact, as the man was last seen crawling toward the first-floor bathroom to get some of his clothes before fleeing the house. “He's telling me about his arm, I hurt his arm. I said ‘you're lucky, you're very lucky all you're talking about is your arm,'" Bonnie said. The suspect, described as a Hispanic man in his mid-to-late 20s with long dark hair, did leave his pants behind, which, of course, had his wallet inside them. “What happened to him the first time, that was nothing compared to what I’ll do to him the second time,” Bonnie said. “That’s not a promise, that’s a threat.” Run tell that, homeboi!

And because she's our hero, here's another interview with grandma Bonnie.




source: WHDH | NECN

WATCH: Woman Performs Exorcism on Man She Believes is Satan

This crazy Jamaican lady is trying to exorcise a CVS security personnel. I. Just. Can't! CAN EFFIN' NOT!

Times Square Weed Man Sues NYC For Harassment

Joshua Long, of Brooklyn, NY who trolls Times Square with a sign saying "Help! I Need Money For Weed!", has filed a lawsuit against New York City claiming his First Amendment right to "peacefully" hold his sign is routinely violated with charges of "allegedly illegal conduct." His federal court filing seeks unspecified money damages and a court order barring cops from telling him to "move along" or repeatedly arresting him without probable cause. "Without an injunction, it is virtually assured that the NYPD will continue to violate Mr. Long's constitutional rights," his suit says. A spokeswoman for the city Law Department told the New York Post, "We're awaiting formal service of the papers and certainly will review them upon receipt."

source: NY POST

CNN Anchor Don Lemon Hates CNN

According to an in-depth report from Jon Stewart, Don "How You Doin" Lemon wants to report hard-hitting news, not fluff on the network that bills itself as "The Worldwide Leader in News."

In Related News: Former CNN anchor Rick Sanchez has been hired by Florida International University as the play-by-play announcer for the school's football games. In 2010, Rick was fired from CNN for calling Jon Stewart a bigot, saying Jews run the media, and for saying Jews are not an oppressed minority on a radio show.



source: THE DAILY SHOW

Man Redefines Meaning of 'Church'

Glenn Hudson is nothing if not a businessman. To let him tell it, he's an ordained minister with certificates of occupancy for a several churches in the Dallas, Texas area -- but according to police, Glenn received his ordination from an online Web site and these "churches" are not your grandparents' churches. In fact, after a three-month investigation the City filed a lawsuit last week to shut down one of pastor Glenn's "churches" called The DarkSide -- which is really a rave club and drug den for teenagers and just this week the City moved to shut down The Playground, which is "a swingers club that is a business that caters to adults, often couples, who wish to engage in random consensual sexual activities with other adults other than their spouses." Halleloo!

UPDATE, Aug. 3: A judge has ordered the "churches" closed after investigators found condoms, beds and pornography inside. In an interview with a local TV station, 'pastor" Glenn says he has a right to operate his "churches", arguing that he has his own form of religion. And what does he believe in, you ask? "My faith is NRG. I believe in nature. My faith is, when you wake up in the morning and you look out your window and what you see... that’s what I believe in," he says. LOL! Sidebar: How You Doin'!



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Bishop Eddie Long's Daughter Probed

Taylor Long, the daughter of Bishop Eddie Long, has found herself in the middle of a scandal. According to WSBTV, Taylor was barred from walking with the rest of her graduating class at the Arabia Mountain High School last May because she was given credit for a class she took at her father's church -- which is not valid. Now the principal who overlooked and was willing to allow Taylor to walk, is being investigated by the school board for giving preferential treatment to Taylor, who's currently taking the required course needed to graduate. She's expected to complete the class sometime this summer.



source

Man Attempts DIY Hernia Surgery With Butter Knife

A 63-year-old Glendale, Calif. man is in stable condition at a local hospital after he attempted surgery on himself with a six-inch butter knife -- yes, a butter knife! -- to remove a protruding hernia from his stomach. According to police, the wife of the the unnamed man called 911 last Sunday and told dispatchers, her husband "impaled himself with a knife." When officers arrived, they found the man naked on a patio lounge chair outside his apartment with the knife sticking out of his stomach. The man's wife told officers that her husband was tired of waiting for the surgery and decided to cut it out himself. While waiting for paramedics, the man pulled out the knife and stuffed a cigarette he was smoking into the bleeding, open wound. He was immediately arrested, placed on a psychiatric hold and taken to a hospital -- where he remains hospitalized.

source

WATCH: NYC Subway Crazy, Apple Store

The NYC Subway is not safe for life. That you already knew, but still...ish is crazy! Last Friday, 42-year-old Richard Arrocho, who's certifiable, climbed his way into the cab of the No. 5 train in the Bronx and began yelling at the motorman, Darryl George, that someone was trying to kill him and that the person had a gun. When Darryl refused to move the train, Richard pulled out a screwdriver.


Joe Nelms, the pastor of Family Baptist Church in Nashville, says he did not want to do "cookie-cutter prayers" when he gave the invocation at Saturday night's Nationwide race at Nashville Superspeedway in Gladeville, Tenn. Late in the prayer, pastor Joe channeled his inner Ricky Bobby when he borrowed a line from the film "Talladega Nights" and said: "Lord, I want to thank you for my smokin' hot wife tonight, Lisa, and my two children, Eli and Emma, or as we like to call [them], 'The Little E's.'" he said.




Steve Campos of Santa Rosa, New Mexico is the landlord from hell. Tenants say he frequently broke into their apartments, watch them in the shower and even stole their underwear.




As it turns out, you can get away with anything at the Apple Store.




The city of Hampton, Ga. has banned sagging.




Last Thursday, a man barged into a Denver cupcake shop and threatened workers with a syringe full of HIV-tainted blood.

School Refused to Let Black Student Be Valedictorian

Kymberly Wimberly (not pictured), who attended McGehee High School in McGehee, Ark. has filed a discrimination lawsuit in federal court claiming the school refused to let her be the sole valedictorian of the Class of 2011 because she's black. The 18-year-old, who had the highest GPA and and succeeded in Honors and Advanced Placement classes, says the guidance counsellor informed her she would, in fact, be valedictorian, but the school "treated two white students as "heir[s] apparent to the valedictorian and salutatorian spots." According to the complaint, Kymberly's mother, who is the school's "certified media specialist", said she heard "in the copy room that same day, other school personnel expressed concern that Wimberly's status as valedictorian might cause a 'big mess.'" So, she confronted principal Darrell Thompson, who told her "that he decided to name a white student as co-valedictorian," although the white student had a lower GPA. When Kymberly's mother tried to protest the decision to the school board meeting, authorities would not allow her speak, because she allegedly filled out a "public comments" instead of a "public participation". Then, the superintendent told her she could not appeal his decision until the June 28 school board meeting. (The graduation was May 13.) Kymberly (who has a child) says the school's refusal to let her be sole valedictorian was part of a pattern of discrimination against black students. Kymberly says McGehee discourages black students from taking honors and advanced placement classes, "by telling them, among other things, that the work was too hard." (The last black valedictorian in the entire school district was in 1989.) The lawsuit seeks punitive damages and an injunction declaring her the sole valedictorian.


source

Man Wakes Up in Morgue, Goes Home

Unlike these stories, here's a story coming out of Africa we can actually believe. Last weekend, a 50-year-old South African who was thought to be dead after suffering an asthma attack woke up in a morgue 21 hours later, almost scaring the workers to death.

Morgue owner Ayanda Maqolo said he sent his driver to collect the body shortly after the family reported the death. Maqolo said he thought the man was around 80 years old. "When he got there, the driver examined the body, checked his pulse, looked for a heartbeat, but there was nothing," Maqolo told the Associated Press. But a day after staff put the body into a locked refrigerated compartment, morgue workers heard someone shouting for help. They thought it was a ghost, the morgue owner said. "I couldn't believe it!" Maqolo said. "I was also scared. But they are my employees and I had to show them I wasn't scared, so I called the police." After police arrived, the group entered the morgue together. "I was glad they had their firearms, in case something wanted to fight with us," Maqolo said. He said the man was pale when they pulled him out. "He asked, 'How did I get here?'" Maqolo said. The health department said the man was then taken to a nearby hospital for observation and later discharged by doctors who deemed him stable.
source

The health department is urging emergency workers and the police to do a better job at determining if someone is dead or not. Which is advice the folks in Russia should heed, too.

WATCH: Here Come the Brides, Mad Mariah, Natural Air Conditioning

Every time Mariah Carey gets on HSN to peddle items she wouldn't actually wear, the singer and new mom of twins loses her mind -- probably as to way to not talk about the tchotchkes. Or maybe it's the champagne.



After becoming law, 659 gay couples were married in NYC last weekend....





..and this donkey was there.




Meanwhile in St Louis, 24-year-old Jacob Southard decided to beat the heat by riding his motorcycle wearing nothing but a lime green Borat mankini. Fun times.




More than 100 criminals visited the new jail in Baton Rogue, La. last weekend.



Man, who is caught urinating on a sidewalk in NYC, assaults a police officer before escaping.



When it's a slow news cycle, the anchors over at NBC Dallas-Forth Worth go "toothpicking."




Pastor Mike Davis is unapologetic about the F-word on the sign outside of his church. Which reminds us.




And on a NYC bus, someone got an earful. Bloodclaat! Go suck you muma! OMG!




And in the UK, a gas station clerk shows a woman that stealing a bag of potato chips is not OK.



After being fired from The Real Housewives of Atlanta last season, Lisa Wu Hartwell is parlaying the acting she honed on the series to the stage and film.




Kevin Gonterman of League City, Texas spent his entire weekend trapped at the bottom of a well.



They're serving up more than greasy fried chicken at a KFC in Nashville, Ga.

Amy Winehouse is Dead

In news that's shocking to no one, crackhead and critically acclaimed singer Amy Winehouse was found dead in her home in London this afternoon. She was 27.

The Back To Black singer was apparently found at the property in by emergency services at 3.54pm this afternoon, according to sources, and her death is being treated as "unexplained" by police. In a statement, the Metropolitan Police said: "Police were called by London Ambulance Service to an address in Camden Square NW1 shortly before 16.05hrs today, Saturday 23 July, following reports of a woman found deceased. On arrival officers found the body of a 27-year-old female who was pronounced dead at the scene. Enquiries continue into the circumstances of the death. At this early stage it is being treated as unexplained." It is thought her father Mitch has yet to find out about his daughter's untimely passing, as he is currently on his way to America to perform at a jazz festival....Winehouse had been working on her long-awaited new album, the follow-up to her 2006 breakthrough multi-million selling Back To Black, for the past three years. Winehouse has had a troubled life which has included various stints in rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. In an interview in 2008, her mother Janis said she would be unsurprised if her daughter died before her time. She said: "I've known for a long time that my daughter has problems. But seeing it on screen rammed it home. I realise my daughter could be dead within the year. We're watching her kill herself, slowly. I've already come to terms with her dead. I've steeled myself to ask her what ground she wants to be buried in, which cemetery. Because the drugs will get her if she stays on this road. "I look at Heath Ledger and Britney. She's on their path. It's like watching a car crash - this person throwing all these gifts away."
source

Although no official cause of death has been released, the Sunday Mirror's sources say an overdose of alcohol and drugs is the suspected cause of death. Over the last few days, friends feared she was drinking too much, telling the Sun, "She [was] rattling about at home in north London drinking herself into oblivion. Three times this week she has been so drunk she passed out." In 2009, her father admitted that Amy almost died twice from drug overdoses, but never stopped her from getting hight; she never met a line of cocaine she didn't like -- even if she had to steal it. In 2007, she married Blake Fielder-Civil, and the pair had a sometimes violent relationship. He he filed for divorce a couple years later. Amy's final performance in Serbia last month was an epic disaster and had us all wondering when she'll get her life in control. May she finally find peace in death. Drugs are a hellauva drugs.

Sidebar: Amy has joined a long list of singers and musicians who died at the age of 27, including Jimi Hendrix, Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones, Janis Joplin, Nirvana's Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison of the Doors and artist Jean-Michel Basquiat.

Here is some of her iconic and timeless music.






Update: This was her final crackish performance with her goddaughter Dionne Bromfield at the iTunes festival in London last Wednesday.

Update, July 26: The singer's family held a funeral service today. She was cremated.

Week in Review: ♫♪...I Am Gettin So Hot, I Wanna Take My Clothes Off ♪♫

Hey, boys and girls. It's the dog days of summer and it was a very slow news week. So, we're off to luxuriate by the pool with a few cocktails and one of those Karl Lagerfeld fans. Make it a fantastic weekend, stay cool and hydrated (and don't make a fool of yourself) and we'll see you back here Monday afternoon.

While we're away, if you have a tip about a story or something we should look into, post or get a chuckle from, please direct it here.

Here are some of the week's lowlights (and some highlights, too).

1. Wendy made her first (and perhaps last) appearance on The View.
2. NBA baller Dwayne Wade got hacked and he filed a lawsuit against the hackers.
3. A group of lesbians brawling over a jumpoff, started throwing poop they got from a cesspool at each other. What. Is. That. Smell?
4. A woman who was beating her son's ass for not going to church, was arrested for trespassing insider her own own. Weird. We know!
5. A man got stuck head-first in a storm drain.
6. We laughed our butts off or learned something from these videos and from these videos.

If Your Personal Effects Fall Into a Storm Drain, Don't Try to Retrieve Them. Especially When You're Tipsy.

And now, the donkey of the week. Jared Medeiros will have so many stories to tell. The 21-year-old man -- who had been drinking -- ended up stuck, head-first in an 18-inch storm drain (pictured) in Ceres, Calif. this morning. Neighbors heard him yelling for help and saw him flailing his legs in the air. When police arrived, Jared was conscious but was having trouble breathing so they called firefighters, who worked feverishly to pull him out the drain. Jared, who was stuck for a total of 40 minutes, told police he was trying to retrieve his keys, cell phone and cash that had fallen into the drain. He suffered minor injuries and was not cited for drinking or being a donkey. Hee-haw!

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Gangster Mom Arrested For Trespassing in Her Own Home

Last Saturday, 48-year-old Lolita Smith was disciplining her 17-year-old son inside her Woodstock, Ga. home, but when the cops got involved, she was arrested -- but not for the reason you'd think. According to reports, Lolita was beating the teenager with a belt because he wouldn't go to church. He eventually fled to his own, but here came Lolita! She kicked in her son's bedroom door and continued to beat him. Eventually, the boy was able to call police and when they arrived they found him crying and covered in bruises and welts. Lolita was charged with battery and trespassing -- because under the Georgia Family Violence Act, she committed the offense when she broke down the bedroom door where her son had tried to take shelter and protect himself from the assault.


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Feces-Flingin' Lesbians Fight

Bomboclaat! Several lesbians at a group home in Jamaica are in some deep you-know-what after they got into a feces-throwing brawl over -- what else? -- a girl. According to the Jamaica Star, the fight began when one girl became incensed that a girl she's interested in was involved with another resident. Then all hell broke loose. After staff members tried to stop the fight, the girls took feces from a nearby cesspool and began throwing it at each other and home's staff members. When cops arrived, the skettels stripped nude in order to prevent the cops from investigating the matter. It took a while, but the mayhem was eventually brought under control. While the group home's administrators acknowledge that there was a fight (she said one girl who was recently transferred to the facility was fighting another girl with whom she had a fight at the previous facility). However, when asked about the real reasons (you know, the How You Doin reasons) behind the foul beat down, the administrator said: "There are no such reports of such behavior as we have never heard of any of that there." Typical.

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Meanwhile, in Jacksonville, Texas...seven women were arrested after they got into a huge fight over a man last Sunday at a truck stop. Detective James Oden says two of the women earlier allegedly exchanged threatening text messages about spending time with the man. Oden says some other women pulled up to get gasoline and became involved in the dispute. No one was hurt and they're all free on bond. Must be some good johnson.

WATCH: Famine; Ice Cream Assault; Oh, Baby!

Why don't we care about Somalia? The United Nations declared famine in parts of Africa and 10 million people are in need of emergency help -- with almost three million in Somalia. The country is suffering its first famine in 19 years and one in three children have malnutrition. Tens of thousands of desperate families are on the move seeking help after the drought devastated their livestock and water supplies.
More than 170,000 are housed in camps in neighbouring Kenya. Some regions have had the worst drought in 60 years. TO HELP: Donate cash to the World Food Programme, Oxfam, or the International Rescue Committee.


On a completely different note, police in Pembroke Park, Fla. are looking for these two ladies who stuffed four bottles of Champagne (worth $90-a-piece) under their dresses. Keep it classy.





Meanwhile, on the NYC subway...



...also on the NYC subway. A lady drops her pants to air out her cat trap. Who could blame her, the heat is friggin' oppressive underground. Sidebar: Don't you just love NYers, they pretty much ignored her crazy azz.




In Evansville, Ind. a woman asked a McDonald's restaurant to keep an ice cream cake in the freezer, but when she returned, she was unhappy with the condition of the cake. She slapped the worker and threw ice cream at her. Police are still looking for the slappy-happy customer. This is the ridiculous 911 call.




Lamont Robinson volunteered to his cousin with a job to tar a roof in Pittsburgh this afternoon, but he almost fell and became stuck in the tar for two hours -- in the sweltering heat. Firefighters were able to get Lamont down from the roof and sprayed him down with oils to remove the tar.




Not as cute as these twins, but these kids are cute.




Thieves broke into a Target store in Atlanta and stole 18 iPads worth more than $11,000. Here's the thing. The store has the devices serial numbers and as soon someone activates the stole devices, the cops will knock on your door. So it'll only be a matter of days since these two thieves are wrangled.




A huge bomb exploded in Oslo, the capital city of Norway Friday afternoon. The blast damaged parliamentary buildings including the Prime Minister's office. Seven deaths have been reported.

NBA Baller Dwyane Wade Sues Computer Hackers

Someone has been keeping tabs on Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade's personal life. The NBA baller claims someone intentionally, methodically and persistently hacked into his computer, gaining access to years' worth of private information and correspondences, and used that information to threaten people. Now he's suing. According to documents obtained by the folks over at Courthouse News, Dwayne filed a lawsuit against John Does 1-50 in Tyler, Texas Federal Court on July 14. He filed a similar complaint in Beaumont Federal Court. Dwyane claims the hacker/s accessed his personal e-mail accounts (one of which is d3_flash@yahoo.com) and Twitter account from January 1, 2007 to June 2011. He says the hacker/s changed passwords to get access to more information from his personal computer, including messages to and from his attorneys, financial associates and advisers, friends and family, including his two small children -- and correspondences between him and his crazy ex-wife, Siohvaughn Wade. We know what you're think -- and it's the same thing we were wondering -- is Siohvaughn behind this hacking? (Or, maybe it was Shaquille O'Neal?) That will come out in trial, but at this time, she is not a defendant in the case. In the lawsuit, Dwayne says the hacker/s used the information they stole from his accounts to threaten people and fraudulently correspond with third parties "using vulgar information purporting to be Mr. Wade" and using the stolen information to obtain private documents from third parties. According to the suit, an e-mail registered to a Patrick Worthen, who lives in Tyler, Texas, was linked to Dwyane's account. The basketball star is suing for punitive damages and asked the court for a protective injunction.




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Wendy: Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony Divorce a PR Stunt

Wendy Williams -- who's enjoying an extended summer vacation from her talk -- made her first appearance on The View this morning and we sensed some shade from one of the co-hosts. Anywho, before they delved into the who-are-you-where-do-you-come-from-and-why-are-you-here conversation, the co-hosts wanted to know her take on last weekend's bombshell announcement from Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony that they've decided to divorce after seven years of marriage. Suffice it to say, Wendy thinks Jennifer is (or, should we say, some unnamed people in Hollywood are) "addicted to fame" and the announcement is just a publicity stunt because Jennifer is no longer in the spotlight. Awkward. Wendy has said she's not a proponent of lavish wedding ceremonies, to which Sherri Shepherd took offense. (Sidebar: We are so sick of Sherri talking about her darn wedding! It's like Star "I'm a Lawyer" Jones all over again.)

Wendy was really on the show to promote her "Say It Like You Mean It Summer Tour" -- a 17-city-tour with the sole purpose of drawing viewers to her show, which is not doing well in the ratings. The tour kicks off in Miami on August 4 then winds up in Sacramento on Sept. 1. [ August 4, Miami; August 5, Tampa; August 8, Charleston, SC; August 9, Charlotte, NC; August 11, St. Louis; August 12, Cincinnati; August 16, Austin; August 17, Houston; August 19, Memphis; August 20, Birmingham, Ala.; August 24, Chicago; August 25, Milwaukee; August 26, Minneapolis; August 30, Los Angeles; August 31, San Diego; Sept. 1, Sacramento. She'll also stop on Boston, but we don't yet know the date.] Season three of her talk show premiers Sept. 12.

Watch the interview.

WATCH: Paco, Talking Cat Trap, New Atlanta 'Housewives' Cast Member

Two armed men barged into an Altadena, Calif. smoke shop and demanded money -- but the store owner's guard dog, ahem, chihuahua, wasn't having it. As the thieves fled with the money, the dog went after them.


This idiot makes a video suggesting that black people are a "problem" and wishes for a plague that will eradicate the race....




....Then she's SHOCKED at the response from the general public.



This Summer's Eve's new commercial is....




Just another day at a Family Dollar store in St Louis.




Drugs make you do dumb things -- but what possess people to talk about what they do while under the influence is still shocking. This Arabic man attempted to rob a man and "screw" a man but stopped after realizing the man was hung like a donkey. Wait, because the "man" was a donkey. Hee-haw.




Marlo Hampton, 35, is supposedly the new cast member of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Here she is talking about something.



In related news: Dwight Eubanks has announced that he will not be appearing on the upcoming season of the RHoA because producers have yet to promote his hair salon on-air. Then he says, “We can entertain you, but you still need to be educated. That’s what’s lacking in the television industry. It’s so much buffoonery and craziness out there. I just can’t do it. I refuse to do it.” Old lady, please!

Week in Review: Ouch. Ouch! OUCH!

Hello, boys and girls. Make it a great weekend! We'll be back Monday afternoon -- hope you will too! Note from Editor: Soooo, we lied. Nothing much happened over the weekend or on Monday worth posting, so we'll be back Tuesday.

While we're away, if you have a tip about a story or something we should look into, post or get a chuckle from, please direct it here.

Here are some of the week's lowlights (and some highlights, too).

1. A crazy couple was deservedly Tazered for acting like crazy people outside of a Walmart. And yes, their mugshots are mucho crazy-looking. Crazy.
2. If you have a penis, don't read this.
3. ....Then a copycat struck in Memphis.
4. A man and his sister were arrested after they got into a fight over a sandwich.
5. A Pennsylvania restaurant hates children; It banned the lil terrors.
6. A man who was sick and tired of someone breaking into his car, so he went on a stake-out and caught the culprit in the act and gave one helluva interview to the local news.
7. "Measure My Anus to See If I Have Dilated" a Spanish priest told the local diocese after they fired him for being gay.
8. Speaking of How You Doin' men of the cloth, the Catholic chaplain at a Brooklyn, NY jail was arrested after he paid an inmate hundreds of dollars for oral sex.
9. R&B crooner R Kelly is losing his home to foreclosure.
10. A former gang member said Shaquille O'Neal ordered him to commit several murders!
11. Casey Anthony is apparently living in disguise as a black man in Pennsylvania. No, wait. She's a convenience store worker in Oklahoma.
12. A drag queen hellbent on modeling his outfit inside a Pizza Hut, was shown the door.
13. A woman crashed her car into a pedestrian then rolled down her window, said "my bad" before fleeing the scene.

Wait!...Before you go, Lamasa Pace has something to say.

Shaquille O'Neal Ordered Multiple Murders: lawsuit

We kinda knew this was coming, but wow. Wow. WOW! Robert Ross, the former gangbanger who's suing former NBA baller Shaquille O’Neal for allegedly masterminding a plot to have him kidnapped by other gang members back in 2008, has just went off the rails and, in a lawsuit filed this afternoon in Los Angeles, alleges that Shaq “requested and directed” multiple murders.

In the suit, Ross alleges, “For many years O’Neal requested and directed [Ross] to perform many personal favors and directed him to perform various tasks including, but not limited to: ordering [Ross] to kill a member of the Downtown Gangster Crips who had disrespected O’Neal in front of his wife Shaunie.” O’Neal is also accused of issuing “an order to kill a woman whom O’Neal had impregnated and paid for her abortion” and “an order to kill a renown record producer.” Ross also alleges that O’Neal issued “an order to break an NBA player’s shooting arm.” Ross — who never says whether the alleged hits were carried out – is suing for unspecified damages.
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Are you gagging? Shaq’s lawyer tells TMZ, “The outlandish claims by Robert Ross in his civil complaint are pure fiction. Shaquille O’Neal befriended Mr. Ross in an attempt to help turn his life around. Sadly, Mr. Ross abused that friendship again and again. Shaquille’s commitment to law enforcement is well-known and documented. He will not dignify these defamatory allegations with a response.” Developing.

Here's the actual filing.